Craigslist partner

try the craigslist app » Android iOS CL. east TX > > ... favorite this post Aug 29 Female text partner wanted (Chandler) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Aug 29 Looking for buddy (Jacksonville/ Rusk) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 11 Couple seeking female activity partner (North of the city) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 10 Local texting buddy or more( female) (Derry) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 10 Thursday Night Football is back! (N. favorite this post Sep 13 Yoga Partner (gjt > Grand Junction) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 10 Maybell Elk hunt (gjt > Maybell-Dinosuar-Rangely-Craig) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 8 Looking for a fishing spot (gjt > durango) hide this posting restore restore this ... favorite this post Sep 13 Young Senior Man for Walking or Bicycling and Stretching Partner (rohnert pk / cotati) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 13 Traveling companion hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 13 Study Mandarin Chinese (downtown / civic / van ness) hide this posting restore restore this posting Looking to exchange emails with like-minded adults. The more adult, the better. Female activity partner needed today for indoor work out, apply within Activity partner needed today - activity partners try the craigslist app » Android iOS favorite this post Sep 5 fit m looking for female partner right now!!! (Bangor) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 5 m&f activity partner needed (Old Town) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 5 Long weekend (scarborough) hide this posting restore restore this posting press to search craigslist. save search. options close. activity partners. search titles only has image posted today bundle duplicates include nearby areas albany, GA (aby) athens, GA (ahn) athens, OH (ohu) atlanta ... favorite this post Aug 9 Female nursing partner ... favorite this post Sep 11 Hey tommyguy33, It’s Dee from chat.. (Birmingham) hide this posting restore restore this posting favorite this post Sep 11 Wanting Female activity partner (Birmingham) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Sep 11 Looking for fun activities Saturday morning (Hoover area) hide this posting restore restore this posting press to search craigslist. save search. options close. activity partners. search titles only has image posted today bundle duplicates include nearby areas ... favorite this post Aug 31 Activity partner (COLUMBIA) hide this posting restore restore this posting. favorite this post Aug 31 Talented Wood worker (Newberry) ...

I need a partner

2013.11.26 04:12 I need a partner

Ineedapartner is the craigslist for partners in anything. Looking for someone to start a business with? Post it to Ineedaparnter. Trying to write a book with someone? Post it here. Have fun, and good luck finding that special person.
[link]


2014.12.16 17:01 Tnargkiller Beggars can't be choosers!

This subreddit is for posting screenshots, pictures, or stories of people who are being way too picky
[link]


2011.06.06 15:30 PendingCataclysm News Digest

Thinking about infidelity?
[link]


2020.09.24 10:04 macaroni_veteran I know I will miss you so much because I miss you already. I can't decide if, by leaving, I am making the most sensible decision for my future or the worst decision of my life.

I have never seen an adult male that looks so sweet, so childlike in sleep. I have also never spent so much time watching someone sleeping. You tuck into your blanket, punctuating soft murmurs with occasional deep snores and eyebrow flutters, and curl in your arms and legs like a toddler. If you put your thumb in your mouth, I wouldn't be surprised.
Have you been dreaming these past few weeks, as I have, of calling for me? Of being unable to find me? You mentioned a dream like this to me about three weeks ago, tears in your eyes, and I've had a similar dream each night since.
Maybe our childhood lessons in self-preservation are getting the better of us, here. I was always taught to never follow a boy; you are restless, living in a city that you were ready to leave behind you when you left me.
When I lost my job due to the pandemic, a week after my best friend introduced you to me in March on our trip to one of the most romantic locales in the country, the choice to come live with you was easy. I had only known you a bit over a week, but it felt like we had followed each other through lifetimes. You lived with my best friend, in a city with good job opportunities in my field.
Heartbroken about losing my beat reporting job, I don't think I could have stayed in my community anyway. I don't think I could have run home to my parents, jobless and heartbroken, either. Hell, even if you weren't living with her, I would have come to stay with my best friend. She is, truly, my soulmate. Not all of us have that.
She has since moved out, as you both finished your master's program. What was originally a temporary arrangement, something that we were trying out while I applied frantically to jobs in a historically crappy job market and you finished your masters, has grown roots.
I have gotten a job, one that is remote and time-consuming. You were raised in a traditional family, and want a partner who cooks and cleans and dotes upon you, and there is nothing wrong with that. I just wasn't raised that way--while my mother was the breadwinner, my father was the cook, the maid, the homekeeper.
I am just not domestic--I am an excellent cook, and nothing brings childlike joy to your face like eating a homecooked meal. Especially if you don't have to do the dishes. But it doesn't come to me naturally--I could easily be happy just eating a bowl of cottage cheese and some celery for dinner.
I suffer from a deep-bones depression, one that I have been medicated for since childhood, one that comes and goes predictably and in a way I can manage. But, before one of nearly 400 job applications stuck in August, I hit a wall. I thought I was going to have to give up the industry that I love, give up doing the only thing I can see myself doing. The daily cooking and cleaning and sex dried up, I slept more and retreated into videogames. And the arguments over why you were cooking more often, over why you were doing more dishes, over why I was letting thing get messy began.
Those arguments never stopped. In the first two months, when I was eternally apron-clad, making elaborate multi-step dishes each day, I never knew the resentment you could harbor and the quick, fiery anger that would come to consume you often. While I was at my family reunion, feeling reinvigorated after a month of listlessness ("How can you be depressed with me here?") you went through my gratitude box. Whenever I am angry with someone I love, I write things that I appreciate about them on a card, it's my way of coping. You saw a gratitude card for my ex-boyfriend, who I left unceremoniously to pursue our instant spark, and despaired that the adjectives I used to describe him had also been used to describe you. You don't know how vastly different you are, but how could you? I was furious, and said so; you then sent me a barrage of text messages telling me that I was a user, that you felt that the effort put into our relationship was woefully unbalanced between us, that you were sick of being my maid. At one point that I can't forget, in a statement that you've since recanted, you said that your time with me was "miserable." You threatened to leave me.
When I came home, I had been called back for three job interviews and been reinvigorated by my family. You apologized and recanted; I recognized that I had let things slide and hopped to cooking some incredible meals, to forcing myself to cuddle while we slept so that you would be comfortable, by asking less of you (hey, I know I'm demanding). And things were good, although any small task I asked of you could be met with a wave of resentment, and often was.
But then I got a taxing, ten-hour-per-day job. And you took my newfound "lack of effort" personally. You harkened back to when I first moved in, simultaneously thrilled and heartbroken at my lost job and life, and blamed me for getting lower grades than you had hoped for because you comforted me (which I disagree with--it takes two people to have sex twice a day, frankly, and my best friend was here to comfort me as well).
When your money began to run out and you became frugal and your purposelessness kicked in (I know how that feels, my love) you applied for jobs. Rather, five jobs. Nearly all responded within a day (you gave up your dream that you pursued for your masters to enter an always-booming industry that you have an uncanny, sexy knack for).
My job search had taken months, had become a job in itself, and seemed to be mirrored by the national shared job-searching experience. When you told me that you would leave once you got a job, I assumed in my head I'd have months left with you.
Maybe, if I had known how little time we would have seemed more shocked or hurt, you would have changed your mind and wasted money or accrued less money overtime for me.
Maybe, if I had been more initially enthused when you'd brought up moving to the Northeast with me (after a competing job offer would have necessitated I go there), you would pursue that idea. Maybe I needed convincing.
Maybe, if you were the "right" person, I would have been more positive about the prospect of splurging on an apartment when I didn't have to, even though I have some money saved and could manage it. Or I would be enthused about the idea of moving you into my parents' house, or onto the various friend's and family member's couches I could sleep on otherwise.
Maybe I would be willing to settle on my entirely-remote, less-than-fulfilling job long-term if I "loved you enough" to anchor myself to another place. (Thereby spending a hell of a lot more than I would on an apartment where I'm from in your state. I've looked at all sorts of niche living situations on craigslist, work-exchange programs, etc... I would be willing to do something to this effect were it not for the hours my job asks for... I could be a live-in aide etc. But I'm trying to use this gig as a "stepping stone" toward something that will fill me with purpose as well as sustain me, as my previous position did, my love, and I wish you wouldn't take that so personally)
Maybe, if I knew that this was truly something that I should take major chances for, I would steel myself to the idea of living with your family. I would learn so much, and I love speaking with them on the phone. I'm truly floored and mystified and filled with awe whenever I listen to you talk to them on the phone, or videochatting with them. My Spanish has been flooding back, and I've worked hard and watched a lot of sitcoms... The constant language barrier combined with the expected servile role I'd have to play is just a lot to swallow, let alone sleeping in a garage because they are traditional (although, hell, mine are too).
I wish this weren't about money or taking chances on each other. I wish that it were purely about how well things were going at the present moment. Maybe this is an adult relationship. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN SOMEONE IS THE ONE TO MAKE A LEAP FOR? Maybe no one knows.
We say we will visit, we will write letters. And I hope we will. But I'm not sure which would be more worse, forgetting you or sharply remembering. Does it mean that it wasn't "real" or "genuine" if we don't yearn for each other? If someone was "worth it," would you yearn for them after months, years have passed with only phonecalls, videos? I don't tend to think so based on my friendships, based on other romantic relationships that have survived some time apart, but those people always had some kind of "home base" near me, somewhere in the world that they frequently returned to that I was also frequently returning to.
At first, we thought that we may live here together, in this city. But you just cannot be okay with the idea of me being called to another job in another location. At the end of the day, I am a beat reporter to my core. Currently, I am writing clickbait--I will move to Idaho if it means that I get to write with some integrity. You couldn't handle this possibility of me getting another job--maybe in a few months, probably in a year or more--due to a need to "move up the ranks" in your industry.
My family hails from the East Coast, and yours from California. Your parents are undocumented, speak a language that I am only moderately fluent in and expect me to work domestically should I live in their house. They also expect me to marry you. My parents are, frankly, incredibly judgemental and critical; although you look, smell and feel so beautiful to me, my love, my parents will just see you as a brown-skinned, overweight, too-old-for-our-daughter male with a master's degree in a liberal art that they find useless. I am willing to push them to see past this, but I cannot just force them to take in my boyfriend, although perhaps they would do so for someone they had met before, or approved of (although I have never loved someone who they did).
So, just like that, it seems as though we have no option but to separate. I am bound for Ohio, to work on a blueberry farm with my best friend, while you will drive back to California.
We have less than a week.
I have never loved someone so senselessly, so fiercely. No one has ever taught me so much about living and how to live, about other cultures, about Buddhism and the Tao. I don't think that anyone has loved me so fiercely, either. We've had so many incredible experiences together--skydiving, sightseeing trips around the country, weeks of camping. I don't know how I would have gotten through this pandemic without you.
Even as I type this, my panic and sorrow is fading. But tomorrow at some point, and again and again until this separation becomes "real" in a week, my heart will swell when I watch you do the everyday things that are seared into my brain. I will miss how you need both a sweet and salty component of every meal. I will miss your fierce, fierce appreciation of food, and your need to eat a true MEAL at every meal. I will miss the faces that you make when you read, the way you hold me, the way that you playfully tease me like a little boy and how small and safe I feel in your arms. Lupita, my sweet guinea pig who has come to recognize and love you, will miss you too. Thank you for taking us into your home, and for extending your stay here to spend time with me.
The beautiful moments were incredible, and this firework of a relationship took place during an unprecendented pandemic. Maybe, as our gardener told me, everyone settles. My love for you, even now, is so intense when it is burning. Maybe many healthy loves burn inconsistently.
I am young, five years your junior, and I cannot imagine you being the last man or woman that I am with. You said that you feel the same, although you do not believe in living a polyamorous lifestyle like I do (this may have been an issue were it not for the pandemic, and surely would have become one over time). Perhaps this is for the best. Perhaps, if things were better, I would be willing to sleep on an air mattress in a garage and balance work with housekeeping for a family I have never met for you. I can tell you definitively that if you lived closeby to my parents, to the region where i have lived my whole life, that I would stay with you. Or if I had gotten a job in California, where I applied profusely. But that didn't happen.
I miss my parents, I haven't seen them in months. I miss my friends who all live in the upper right quadrant of the country. I miss my ex boyfriend, who I am still in contact with, but in a different way than I love you (can you love more than one person, truly? what if you love them differently?). And even though I work remotely, I still owe it to my readers to physically stand in and see each town I'm covering in my large regional beat.
Maybe we will be like that movie, Before Sunrise, that we watched together, where the couple intends to meet back up after a certain amount of time after falling deeply in love on a train to Austria and spending a day getting to know one another in Vienna. Maybe you will make enough money to fly me out to visit you, and we will miss each other enough to do so. Or, maybe amid these bizarre circumstances, we have become codependent. I have only gone a week without seeing your face since April, about a week and a half collectively. Maybe, after a few weeks, I will have put this behind me. But maybe I never will. I wish I knew. I am so, so afraid that I am making the wrong decision.
Regardless, I never would have done things differently. If my newspaper hadn't gone under it would be different--I would hold a responsibility to my beat, as I told you when we tearfully separated for what we thought was the last time after that initial week. I would never take back driving nearly a day to come live with you on a whim. I will never regret the places we went, the days and nights we spent together, our frequent baths, teaching you to swim, learning each other's music, reading aloud to each other. I will never regret this.
I love you. I will write you a love letter, a goodbye love letter, that is for you (rather than for me, like this post) before we part ways. I'm not sure if I hope that our love fades quickly or cloyingly lingers. I love you.
submitted by macaroni_veteran to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 03:05 AutoModerator General Questions Thread, September 24, 2020

A thread for new collectors to ask basic questions of the community.
Frequently Asked Questions below!
A longer version of the subreddit rules is here.
For questions specifically concerning bootlegs or vendor legitimacy, please ask in the Bootleg Megathread.
NSFW & Spoiler Guidelines
  • For Self Posts: include a bolded NSFW note next to links in that post.
  • For Links to sites/images: If the figure is NSFW, or the website has any NSFW content (including ads) be sure to tag your post NSFW and use the appropriate link flair.
Bootlegs
Any collection posts containing bootlegs, comments advocating buying bootlegs, or links to sites selling bootlegs, recasts, or unlicensed merchandise will be removed.
People often ask about the legitimacy and/or safety of a number of websites which sell large resin statues. The more commonly-asked of those deal primarily in resins from studios which do not have a license from the Japanese IP holders to produce merchandise. Therefore links to those sites are not permitted here. Another sign is if MyFigureCollection doesn't list the either the statue, its manufacturer, or the shop it's being sold on.
MyFigureCollection
My Figure Collection is like MyAnimeList... but for figures! Their database includes thousands of items which been produced during the last couple of decades, along with reviews of shops and other helpful articles. One can also list their own collection and post gallery photos.
Shops
Retailers:
AmiAmi HobbySearch Mandarake (sells rare figures) Good Smile Company Online Shop (often has exclusives) Good Smile Company US shop Crunchyroll Shop Hobby Link Japan (aka HLJ) Solaris Japan (MFC partner) Big in Japan (also has proxy service) Tokyo Otaku Mode FigureHaven Archonia (EU retailer) Jungle
List of retailers on MFC
/AnimeFigures' List of Retailers
Community Guide to Shopping in Japan
Blogs/News:
Nekomagic (News/Previews) NyaaFigurines (Reviews/Releases) Kahotan's Blog (News/Reviews) Figma Blog (JP)

Buying & Shipping

1. What’s the best place to buy my anime figures from?
That’s going to depend a lot on what works for you, but most people around here buy them from Amiami, Big in Japan, Hobby Search, HobbyLink Japan, or Tokyo Otaku Mode. If none of those work for you for whatever reason, there’s a list of reputable retailers in the sidebar that you can check out at any time. Be extra careful when ordering figures from websites like Amazon or ebay, as there are a lot of bootlegs on those sites. Don’t be afraid to ask in our Bootleg Megathread if you’re unsure.
2. What differences are there between the shipping options I get from most Japanese shops?
Below is a rundown of the main shipping choices you’ll get at most retailers. Keep in mind that if an order is large enough you will be forced to use one of the more expensive options, as SAL shipments have lower size and weight restrictions.
  • Unregistered SAL: Sometimes referred to as uSAL, is usually the cheapest method. It does not come with any tracking or insurance. Usually takes up 2-4 weeks for delivery.
  • Registered SAL: Sometimes referred to as rSAL, is insured for the declared value up to 6,000 yen. It comes with a tracking number and usually takes 2-4 weeks for delivery.
  • EMS: This method of shipping is much faster than either SAL options, usually arriving within a week of shipment. EMS shipments are insured for the declared value up to 2,000,000 yen.
  • Airmail
  • E-packet
  • Surface: Shops don't offer this very often. It's an actual cargo ship and slow as a result.
  • DHL: Becoming more available as an alternative to EMS on AmiAmi and other sites. Can be less expensive than EMS and of comparable speed, but may be more reliant on the specific geographical area being shipped to. Offers their own tracking.
3. I placed two+ orders for figures at different times. Will my items be shipped together, or will I have to pay shipping twice?
Most shops will ask you to pay shipping on a per-order basis, but here are some that will allow combined shipping:
  • Amiami: You can combine orders here, as long as the orders ship in the same month. It doesn’t matter if the item is new or preowned. Any preorders that are set for that month can also be combined with other orders for that month. However, be aware that if the preorder gets delayed, Amiami will remove that item from that month’s shipment and place it on a new order. To combine orders on Amiami, use the “Combine Orders” feature under “My Account”.
  • Hobby Search: Hobby Search will let you combine orders that release in the same month, but you cannot combine in stock items with preorders. If you want to combine multiple preorders, or multiple in stock items, you can do so using the “Order Recombination” feature on your account page.
  • HobbyLink Japan: At HLJ, you have the option to send paid orders to their “Private Warehouse”, where you can store them for up to 2 months. When you’re ready to ship the items, you simply select which items to ship and HLJ will combine them into one shipment for you. To use this, just select the “Private Warehouse” option as shipping when you order.
  • GSC Web Shop: Here you’ll pay a flat 2,000 yen fee per order. It doesn’t matter how many items you put in your order, or how many different months the items release in. They will charge you 2,000 yen and ship all items as they release. The exception to this rule is their Wonder Festival exclusive items. Those can only be placed in the same order as other Wonder Festival items.
If you’re unsure about whether or not a shop we haven’t listed will combine your orders, please refer to their individual FAQ’s.
4. When will I get charged for my preorder?
Most Japanese shops charge you once the item is in stock and ready for shipment. When that happens, they will send you an email asking for payment. Some shops (mostly overseas ones), will allow you to pay for the item up front though, if you’d like. A few with that option are:
  • Big in Japan (Japanese store)
  • Tokyo Otaku Mode
  • Anime Island
  • Crunchyroll
Keep in mind that overseas stores will likely get the figure a few months after Japanese ones, so pay attention to the release date stated on the website you are buying from so as to avoid that confusion.
5. Should I expect to pay customs fees when importing figures?
That depends on where you live. Here’s a quick rundown:
  • Australia: 10% GST is now assessed up front.
  • Canada: Minimum declared value for charges is around CAD$20 for regular shipments, and CAD$60 for gifts (gifting something only seems to lower the declared value by about CAD$40, not deplete it completely). When using Amiami, try their Small Air Packet option. It comes with tracking, gets there in about the same time as EMS, and is better at avoiding customs.
  • Europe: Using EMS raises your chance of getting charged for customs. SAL can still avoid customs in some countries, but generally gets checked in the UK now if the items are above the threshold. Amiami offers a shipping service called “Small Air Packet” that is really good for avoiding customs when you are only shipping one or two figures. Small Air Packet usually takes about the same amount of time as EMS, and still comes with tracking.The minimum declared value for customs charges in the Europe is pretty low- around £15 (£36 for gifts) / €20.
  • Mexico: Minimum declared value for customs fees is USD$300 for shipments by post, and USD$50 for shipments by courier.
  • United States: A shipment has to have a declared value of USD$2,000 before customs starts hitting you with fees, so you most likely won’t have to worry about them at all.
6. The figure I want is an exclusive, how do I go about ordering one outside of Japan?
You have three options for this:
A. Big in Japan is known to stock exclusive figures and ship to other countries. Usually the price is higher because they build in their proxy fees, but it’s easier than worrying about using a forwarder or proxy service. If you live in the US, Crunchyroll, Right Stuf, and Tokyo Otaku Mode also get exclusives sometimes, but out of the states the shipping can get expensive.
B. Forwarding Services: A forwarder is someone who you ship an exclusive item to so that they can forward the package on to you, usually for a flat fee + shipping. When using a forwarder you still make the purchase yourself, and enter their address into the shipping field. When the box arrives at the forwarder they will then stick your address onto the package and send it on its way.
Some popular forwarders are:
Be sure to read each sites instructions on forwarding carefully!
C. Proxy Services: With a proxy, you tell them what the item you’re looking for is and they will purchase it in your stead. This is handy for when a company doesn’t accept foreign credit cards, or you’re having trouble navigating a Japanese website.
Some popular proxies are:
Again, be sure you thoroughly read through each sites proxy instructions.
7. I see a bunch of really cheap figures that ship from China on ebay. Are those okay to buy?
Generally, no. They’re most likely bootlegs. If you want a second opinion on that, feel free to ask in the Bootleg Megathread that’s always stickied at the top of the sub.
8. What’s a bootleg, and how can I avoid buying them?
A bootleg is a counterfeit figure often made using rejected molds of the official product. They are usually priced significantly lower than the genuine article, and in order to make their profit, bootleggers use lower quality materials and have less attention to detail- resulting in a substandard figure.
The Bootleg Megathread that I mentioned in question 7 is a great tool to avoid buying any bootlegs. It has a few tips and tricks to avoiding them to begin with, and a few more on how to spot them if you’re worried you might already own one.
9. Does anyone know when figure X is going to be released? How do I know if it was delayed?
My Figure Collection (sometimes referred to as MFC) does an excellent job of staying on top of information like release dates and delays. If you’re curious about an upcoming figures release date, check there first. This information can be found directly under the “Releases” section on a figure’s entry. If you only see a month and a year in that section, it means the release date has not yet been announced by the manufacturer, and there is still a chance the figure could be delayed.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.
10. The figure I want is long sold out at normal retailers! What’s the best place to pick it up in the aftermarket?
A list of reputable retailers can be found under the “Shops” section of the /AnimeFigures sidebar. They all sell legitimate products, and many of them also sell figures second hand. However, the most frequently suggested second hand sites are Mandarake and Amiami- who has a preowned section that they update every night save Sundays and Japanese holidays around 1PM JST and again around 6PM JST.
AmiAmi grades their pre-owned items on a letter scale. The general consensus from buyers is that their ratings are conservative, so unless the item and/or packaging is specifically indicated as having significant flaws, pre-owned items from them are usually in at least as good a condition as their rating suggests.
Note: When you search Mandarake, you’ll get the best results by using the Japanese characters for whatever you are searching. If you don’t know them, you can find them on MFC by clicking on any of the “details” in that figure’s listing.
11. Amiami has a figure I’m interested in labeled as “For sale in Japan only”. Does this mean I can’t order it without a proxy or forwarder?
No, you can still order it. Amiami’s English site has that warning on many items, and it’s mostly meant to inform you that this product was made for a Japanese market, and as such, will have Japanese speaking/writing in it- so don’t expect any instructions to be in English. If Amiami doesn’t want foreigners buying a certain product, they won’t even list it on their English site.

Displaying Your Figures

12. What display cases do you recommend?
If you live near an Ikea try out one of these:
*If you decided on a Detolf, you might find that there is a lot of wasted space. Here are a few tutorials on raising the shelves or and adding extra ones in.
If you don’t live near an Ikea, Amazon has a few display options, though they are more expensive. Also keep an eye on your local Craigslist (or your country’s equivalent) and stores near you that are closing up.
13. What lighting do you guys recommend?
Ikea’s Dioder LED strips are often suggested. They come in white or muti-colored.
Most hardware stores carry something similar though, if you don’t live by an Ikea. Just make sure that the lights don’t get too hot!
14. What are those clear plastic boxes that I see under everyone’s figures in their collection posts, and where can I get them?
Those are called risers. Most of us use standard acrylic risers like these. Some other, easy to find things that have been suggested are:
Check your local hobby store for the first 2 options, or your local hardware store if you want to make your own.
Another common suggestion is to visit The Container Store if you have one near you. They have a lot of things to choose from that can suit a variety of needs. Be sure to check out their standard acrylic risers, their Amac boxes, and the various display cases they sell (baseball cases, mini car cases. hockey puck cases, etc).
15. Should I keep my figures sealed?
That is, of course, up to you really, but here are a few things to keep in mind when debating this question:
  • Keeping it sealed can actually damage your figure. PVC figures usually have something called plasticizer in them, and that plasticizer needs to be able to breath. If a PVC figure isn’t exposed to oxygen, after a period of time the plasticizer starts to break down and form a sticky substance on the surface of the figure. Simply opening your figures and taking them out of the box prevents this from happening. If you happen to find plasticizer goo on one of your figures, Kahotan has a handy guide for dealing with it.
  • Unlike some other figure markets, keeping an anime figure sealed won’t raise its value by a whole lot. In fact, because of the plasticizer problem mentioned above, your figure could actually be in better condition if you open it versus keeping it sealed.

Finding the Right Figure(s) for You

16. There are so many figure companies! Who makes good figures?!
Obviously this is a very subjective question, but as a general starting point, here are a few well renowned figure companies:
  • Alter
  • Max Factory
  • Good Smile Company
  • Kotobukiya (usually hit or miss for people. Use your best judgement based off of the prototype)
  • Aquamarine
  • Flare
  • Stronger
17. I really love “series X / character X”- how can I check if any figures were ever made for it?
My Figure Collection can be your best friend here. Simply do a search on the name of the series or character using the search bar located at the top right of the screen, and all associated figures pop up!
Alternatively, if you’re looking at a figure’s MFC entry, most of the text under the “Details” section can be clicked on and used to run a search.
18. How can I commission a custom figure?
None of the major figure companies (Alter, Kotobukiya, Good Smile Company, etc.) will take a commission for a single figure. This thread has a few websites in it that you can check out, or you can look into garage kits. Some kit painters would be willing to resculpt, frankenstein together, or otherwise modify kits for the right price.
If you're looking for help completing a garage kit, /brushforhire may be useful.

Keeping Up with New Announcements

19. How can I keep up with figure news (announcements, updates, etc.)?
Most people use a MFC combined with any or all of the following news sites:
To use MFC for this I’ll quote question #9.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.
Most companies have one or more Twitter accounts. Some examples: Good Smile Company sales, Good Smile's USA branch, Max Factory, AmiAmi Hobby News.
20. Everyone’s excited about something called Wonfes….. what the heck is that?!
WonFes (short for Wonder Festival) is a biannual figure expo where many figure producers (both large and small) show off new sculpts and updates to figures already under way. Most companies save their most exciting announcements for WonFes, so we all look forward to the expo whenever it rolls around! Winter Wonder Festival is usually held in February, while Summer Wonder Festival is usually in July. The event has also spread to Shanghai, in the late spring.
21. One or two (or 15) figures were announced at WonFes that I’m really excited about! How can I keep track of their progress once the event is over?
MFC is always really quick about getting new WonFes announcements (or any others throughout the year, for that matter) listed in their database, so we suggest using that. To find a figure from the event you can search any number of things, including the name of the character or the name of the show. You can also use the tag search to search “WonderFestival 20xx_[season]” to see all items announced at that event.
submitted by AutoModerator to AnimeFigures [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 17:50 I_am_mad_ok Asking for advice in starting a General Contracting business

Hello Construction,
I am planning on starting a general contracting business, and I would just like to see if anybody could suggest to me all the steps that I need to take, so that I make sure that I don't miss any important steps. I might know most of what I need to do, so I'll just explain what my plans are, and I'd like to request that people add whatever they feel like I've left out of my list.
A little background info on myself...
I have flipped 5 homes. The first 4 homes, I was a 50/50 partner with my father. We did a lot of the work ourselves, and hired contractors for many things as well. The 5th home, I was a 100% owner. I did a lot of the work by myself, and hired contractors for about 1/2 of the work maybe. I just want to be clear that my father and I were not general contractors. We simply hired contractors from Thumbtack, Craigslist, HomeAdvisor, word of mouth, etc.
My original plans were to continue with my house flipping business, but to do so in a much more efficient manner than I had done on my 5th house or before that. By more efficient, I mean that I want to do much less work myself, and have contractors do the majority of the work and finish as quickly as possible (3-4 months goal time).
However, the pandemic and the millions of people not paying their mortgages currently leads me to believe that the housing market will eventually crash after this eviction moratorium ends (which could happen in January 2021). Therefore, I am not interested in continuing with my house flipping business until I believe that the risk has gone away. So instead, I would like to simply just start and develop a general contracting business, and then whenever I'm ready to go back into house flipping, I'll have my contractors and business ready to flip houses in an efficient way.
Here are my plans (FYI, I live in California)...
  1. Set up an LLC (I've already done this)
  2. Buy a truck in the company's name (I've already done this)
  3. Buy tools (I've already done this)
  4. Hire a salary contractor that is able to pass the General Contractor's exam. I myself don't have 4 years of work experience (although I do have a college degree that I know is worth 2 years of experience), so I will need to hire someone to pass the exam for the company, so that the company can get it's GC license. Question - how much should I be paying this guy per year, and what is this position called? I plan to search for this guy by posting an ad on Indeed.
  5. Company will hopefully pass the GC test after I've hired my salary employee.
  6. Find contractors for my business by posting ads on Indeed / Craigslist. Are these the best sites to post ads for jobs? Any other sites that I should consider?
  7. Post ads for my company on Thumbtack, Homeadvisor, Craigslist.
  8. #1 goal for the company is to provide 5 star service and nothing less than that. This means that I must make the customer happy at all costs. There is nothing that is more important than that. Happy customers lead to 5 star reviews. 5 star reviews lead to more business. More business = more money.
What else? Any and all advice is much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
submitted by I_am_mad_ok to Construction [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 05:39 TheExplorer00 What intellectual property rights do we have as clients of cammodels and with our private show recordings?

I've been using camsites for about 8 years now and it's been a crazy ride. Did a couple shows myself, solo, and with a female partner. Been trying to find a new female who's willing to do this using Craigslist, it's hard to get them to follow through though.
Anyways, I just wanted to give some perspective. I'm mostly a customer but I've tried myself with moderate success a few times, and I can see how much of a grind it is, as well as a game.
However, as a customer, there are many things that can go wrong. Some girls got the tricks and mindgames down pat and can convince you to drain your wallet (and your balls) on them. It's all good fun when they are actual professionals and manage to make you cum, but there's a lot of girls on there that fuck around. You know what I mean: raising the pvt show price right before you click it. Saying "hold on" and just leaving the room for 5 minutes. Moving slowly to run the clock. Changing their mind about doing certain acts in private or throwing in a surprise extra charge for it. And now most girls expect you to tip more WHILE you're in a private show.
Well, I've been a student of the game for so long and have found ways to combat many of these issues. In a way you have to be like a porn director dealing with porn actresses on a set.
Now, many sites offer recordings of your private shows, but I have always additonally screen recorded most of my interactions with these hos. It's extra fap material and I get to review my "game" and how well I did.
I would see cam model videos posted on porn sites, but found it a bit unethical as it's meant to be a private show and it could be taking from their profit. For many years I decided not to upload them, but now I'm starting to think I should. Reason being is we customers contribute a lot to the popularity and wealth of these site runners and models but don't get any of that in return.
Picking out a beautiful, cute or charismatic looking girl and then getting her in the mood to perform sexual acts for the camera takes. It takes wasted tokens if you find a dud. Then once in the show, you have to command the girl what to do - otherwise she tries to do her own thing, which is simply what she thinks you want to see (it's not).
These private shows, if done right, are a valuable commodity. The only real way you can make a return on all your camgirl investment is to create your own professional site where you sell the videos. But can one be sued for this? People record other people doing all sorts of things and then upload it to Youtube. Who owns the rights to the video? Can a copyright claim be filed against a Youtuber because your image is featured in it for a few seconds?
Any advice from some legal eagles would be greatly appreciated. I guess my other option is to start my own brand and pay and fuck sex workers to sell the videos, or to partner with them as couples performers on a cam site.
submitted by TheExplorer00 to adultwebcam [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 03:32 RussellChokebrook Now that we have more bike lanes and ArborBike share failed, why can't we get subsidized bike costs from the city or the university?

1) ArborBike was never going to work. It was already dead before the Bird or Spin scooters arrived in town.
The program is funded with $750,000 in capital funding and $800,000 in operational funding for a three-year trial. CEC, in partnership with TheRide, secured $600,000 of federal CMAQ funds for capital expenditures in August 2012 for capital expenditures in fall 2013.The required local capital match of $150,000 was authorized by Ann Arbor City Council Aug. 8.
How about instead of wasting money into a failed project why not just funnel it into funds to give us partial reimbursements on bike purchases? They've been trying to relaunch the ArborBike share in 2020
It could work in a simple way. Buy a bike from a retailer, show proof of purchase via receipt, get a check in the mail for a partial discount. It could also be a tiered system, depending on how much financial assistance is required. The less income you have, the higher your bike $$$ reimbursement. Also if you buy from a local bikeshop or Michigan-based, then your bike $$$ reimbursement is also higher. You could still order a cheap bike walmart or amazon, it'll just be on the low end of absolute $ reimbursement money; proportionately it could be high depending on the price of the bike. I'm not giving any exact dollar amounts because people on reddit love to fixate over minutia details, when that's not the point. Somebody can eventually figure that out based on the amount of available funds and expected bike purchases.
Ok..Back to the A2Bike share's failure.......
Memberships are priced at $80 for an annual pass, $18 for a monthly pass and $8 for a 24-hour pass for 30-minute periods.
Pricing model doesn't work. You can buy decent working bikes off craigslist or thrift stores for less than 80 bucks. I've done that in the past, never had a problem because I'm not a hardcore road cyclist or rugged mountain biker. Most people are going to fit into the commuter level bike user. If you're just strolling around town for some errands, you don't always need a high quality grade A bike which costs thousands of dollars.
Ann Arbor doesn't have the population to make it financially sustainable. A gigantic portion of the people are gone during the prime months of May, June, July, August. Then it snows December, January, February, part of March. It makes sense for a bigger city because they have so many people, which means a lot more potential transactions everyday. Geographically, we don't have the type of layout that warrants a bike share. All those places are very walkable. Central Campus to North Campus is mostly just students. You also need to put the bikes near places that townies visit. Other big cities have an uptown, downtown, and midtown which have a lot hotspot destinations scattered around. We aren't built like that.
2) A goal should be reduced car traffic, we have fewer number of lanes for cars. This causes congestion for people where vehicle is essential. More bikers isn't going to magically happen without an extra push. Fewer deadly machines colliding on the road is a good thing.
3) Economic benefits for local businesses and state of Michigan
Phase I: $668 Million from Bicycling Per Year
The Michigan Department of Transportation released Phase I of "Community and Economic Benefits of Bicycling in Michigan" in August 2014. The first study shows an estimated $668 million per year in economic benefits to Michigan's economy from employment, retail revenue, tourism expenditure, and increased health and productivity. Phase II: $21.9 Million from Events Per Year
The Michigan Department of Transportation released Phase II of "Community and Economic Benefits of Bicycling in Michigan in May 2015. Phase II examines the economic impacts of bicycle touring and events and found that events bring the state $21.9 million from out-of-state visitors and touring cyclists spend an average of $71/day with the average trip length of 6 days.
https://www.adventurecycling.org/advocacy/building-bike-tourism/economic-impact/
4) Public health benefits.
Less dependence on buses. Obvious COVID is a thing. But also physical exercise on the public. This also means faster arrival times for paramedics, police offers, and firefighters where every second matters due to reduction in traffic. Which means more lives potentially saved.
5) A major goal should be Clean energy. A bike subsidy would support that. More bikes = less cars, less pollution.
6) Supporting impoverished people
Poor people need a way to transport themselves to find/maintain a job or get food. Because of covid, people who were once dependent on AATA buses now need to walk everywhere or risk getting sick. A subsidized bike would greatly improve their life during these hard times.
Anticipated Shill Comments
tHe mOnEy yOu SaVe oN gAs aNd rEpAiRs cAn bE uSeD tO bUy a bIkE!!! sToP aSkiNg fOr hAndOuTs!!!
Well money (tax-payer) is already being wasted, might as well put it into good use instead of setting it on fire.
wHY don't yOU Go TELL sOMEboDy whO wORkS aT the CITy oF ANn ArBor oR the AAtA? nOt reDdIt
I've sent emails a month ago. They went unanswered. Or they simply said "Thanks for your input" but nobody followed up. I'm just trying to rally some community support.
bIkE rEimBursEmentS dO nOT GENeraTe any mONey buT A2bIKe SHaRE WilL
If ArborBikes actually made money, it'd still be alive today. Please re-read the Economic Benefits section.
Another idea is if it's about generating money for the city, then AA could do something such as the Kayak lockers on the Huron I'm sure plenty of bike enthusiasts would pay good membership money to lock their bikes securely if they were going to kroger or something because some bikes cost several thousands. Put the locker near the hospital or at bus stop. They could partner with a 3rd party that does bike-gps tracking services, then pay an annual fee to register with the AAPL.
thERE WIll NEVER 0 CArS on tHE rOAd, THaT's ImPoSsibLE.
That's not the point and unrealistic. More reasonably, we can reduce the number of cars significantly to a small proportion
submitted by RussellChokebrook to AnnArbor [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 23:08 iShrugs I'm...

I'm 27.
I’m crying. I'm hurting and confused. I haven’t slept for three days. I’m shaking. Convulsing. I punch my leg. I hate it. I hate my body. I hate myself. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I am.
I don't know if I will see her again. She blocked me from facebook. She was so mad. I just wanted to branch out and try something. Just to see. She always said she was open to us experimenting with other people, but whenever I brought it up, she always got defensive. I knew she wanted to, but I also knew she was scared of what might happen.
I’m 9.
I’m riding in the passenger seat of my grandpa’s truck. I’m crying. My grandpa’s crying too. He’s rubbing my back and telling me it’s going to be alright. There’s a ringing in my ears. I don’t know if I will see her again.
I’m back home. My grandma and grandpa are whispering in the other room. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept all night. She kept calling out for her mom. She even tried escaping once we got her to the hospital. I was so scared.
I’m 22.
I’m petrified. My heart is racing, and I feel sick. We’re walking up the stairs and I feel my legs turning to Jello.
We’re in his room. The lights are dim. I look up at him and he smiles. I’m pretty much shaking. He laughs. His eyes are so warm, so full of love. He puts his hand on my shoulder, sees that I’m ok with being touched, and pulls me closer.
He kisses me. I feel so safe in his arms. It’s so much different than kissing a girl. His lips are bigger, my head is tilted back. I feel like I can let go. I don’t have to stand so rigid, or be so on edge.
Our clothes are coming off. He kisses me again when our shirts are off. I like feeling his bare skin on mine.
My pants slide off. I feel weird being naked in front of him. His smile calms me down. His pants come off. It’s mesmerizing, just dangling there. He watches me looking at. I can tell he’s going to enjoy taking my virginity. I know I will as well.
I’m naked. He’s naked. He steps forward to kiss me again. I feel it against mine. It makes me gasp. He shoves his tongue down my throat and presses me against the wall. I feel so safe. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
He’s on top of me. We’re grinding against each other. I love feeling how warm it is against my skin. He rolls off and we look in each other’s eyes. I want to do it. I slowly go down there. I grab it with the tips of my fingers. He flexes it. It startles me. He’s laughing, watching me. I’m looking up at him. It feels so smooth on my lips. I love how I make him feel. It’s literally perfect.
I look up at him. He has this look. I kiss him. I feels different after. I like it.
He’s giving me a massage. I need to relax. His fingers feel amazing pressing into my shoulders. I’m relaxed. I feel freer than I’ve ever been in my life.
Oh my god. It’s...oh my god….relax….it’s all the way in. There are no thoughts. There’s just feeling. I feel amazing.
I’m 19.
Yes Drill Sergeant!
I’m 22.
We talk about how I wish I was more feminine. He’d like me to dress. He thinks I’d be cute. I really want to. I want to be cute. I want to be soft. Delicate. Fragile. I’m too masculine. I’m too muscular. I’m too hairy. He offers to get me a wax. He assures me that my body is beautiful.
No, then my dad…
“Come live with me.”
I’m 19.
I’m at a party. I drank to much. No one talked to me. No one ever talks to me. I’m scared and I don’t know how to talk to people.
No one loves me. I cry and I ruin everything. I run home.
Every party.
I’m 22.
We’re at a party. No one’s talking to me. I’m drunk and high. We play some game. I don’t remember. All the girls have to do something. I try to go.
We’re not allowed back at that house. We’re back at his place. He’s yelling at me for being a drunk idiot. “Don’t you know there’s a Puerto Rican gang that beats up gays in this town?! You are so lucky you met me. You probably would have found someone trying to give you AIDS on Craigslist.”
I leave him. I don’t feel good. I don’t feel safe. I feel wrong.
I'm 27.
We’re at her parents. We just got back from our adventure on the West Coast. I’m falling apart. I couldn’t make it happen. I failed.
I keep trying. I can’t give up on finding a job. I’m writing so much every day. I’m working hard.
I’m on top of her, things are getting hot and heavy. I think about moving down to please her. Suddenly, I’m hit with a wave of nausea. I roll off her. I feel like a failure.
I keep trying. I can't give up on this relationship. I have to put in effort. I want to love her like she loves me.
I’m 21.
I’m alone. I’m addicted to drugs. I’m addicted to porn. I can’t get a job. I have no friends. I’m terrified to leave my room, let alone go outside. I’m desperate to find someone who will understand.
Nothing matters. I’m a failure.
I can't kill myself. I have to put in effort.
I’m 27
It’s the strawberry festival. I’m scared. She tries to get me to come. She gives me countless reasons why I should come. They’re all right. She’s right. I need to go. It’s my chance to shine. I can’t.
She’s back from the festival. I can tell from the look in her eyes that it’s over. She’s had enough. She’s put up with more than anyone ever should.
I’m back home. I’m alone. I throw up.
I’m 14.
I throw up. My legs ache and my head is pounding. My entire side is cramping. I didn’t think it would be this hard. I was always a fast runner, but I never ran more than a mile.
I’m in last place. I’m always in last place. Even the girls beat me. I can’t give up. I have to keep trying. I’m sore every day.
I’m 15.
Our summer track club’s 4x400 team is competing in the Junior Olympics. I win two golds and one bronze at the regional invitation. We take seventh in the national finals.
My dad is proud of me. He helps coach our club team. I work hard every practice. All the coaches are amazed that I can hit the same time in my 200 meter repeats, to the tenth of a second, over and over again.
My teammates respect me, both in the club and on our school’s team. I have a lot of friends. I’m starting to meet people all the time. Maybe. Just maybe.
I’m 11.
My hand is shaking. I can’t hold the pencil straight. I’m covering the piece of paper with one hand because I’m afraid someone might see what I’m writing. Butterflies are doing loop-de-loops in my stomach. I am crushing, hard.
I hand her the note. My palms are sweaty. She’s reading it and I’m losing my mind. She hands me back the note, which read “Do you like me?”
Yes.
That was it. Nothing came of it. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. We never talked to each other again. I feel like an idiot.
I’m 17.
I throw up. I look down at the ice cream and cookie mush soup in the toilet.
It’s 5am. I’m running in a blizzard. It’s practice. I’m sprinting up the steepest hill in town for the twentieth time in a row. It’s after dark. I have to tell my friend’s mom who was kind enough to give me a ride home and offer dinner that I can’t eat because I have another practice with my club.
I’m entering the final stretch. I got the baton fifty meters behind and now I’m closing. The stadium is going nuts. Everyone’s cheering my name. My energy levels are through the roof, like I’m Goku calling on the world to create a spirit bomb. I can hear my dad over everyone. He’s so proud of me.
I’m closing on him as we reach the line. We’re neck and neck. I throw myself forward to clinch the win. He tries to as well, but he is dead. He tumbles over. My teammates rush over to hug me and shake my hand. I help him up because I know what it’s like to try and lose.
I feel like a god. Surely, any time now.
I'm 18.
I’m with my first girlfriend. We're kissing in her room. Oh my God, it's happening. Approaching third base. I smell it. I push forward. I taste it. I’m telling myself to put the effort in. I eventually stop and mount her. It doesn’t feel good. I have a weird feeling inside my entire abdomen.
I'm 4.
It’s some holiday and my mom’s side of the family is all gathered at her dad’s house. I'm with my cousins in the kids room. My one cousin and I decide to play the kissing game. We hide under the blankets with all the other kids in the room. We take turns kissing each other in different places.
Eventually, we decide to play a more advanced game. I kiss his penis, he kisses mine. I kiss his ass, he kisses mine. It's fun. One of our other cousins lifts up the blanket. She's a girl. He asks if she wants to join. She said no, but I remember feeling sick being so scared of her either joining or telling anyone that she saw me kissing his penis.
I’m 2.
I'm in the shower with my mom. She’s hairy down there. I rub her. I smell it. It smells weird. She smacks me so hard that I fall out of the shower.
I'm 6.
I'm in school, first grade. There’s a band concert for the entire school. I don’t remember the actual concert much. I just remember the girl who played a french horn solo. It sounded horrible. Everybody clapped, but I did what I saw and TV. I booed and gave her a thumbs down. I see her see me. She starts crying.
I'm 13.
I find out that same girl committed suicide.
I'm 6.
I get yanked to the side. I don’t even know what’s going on or why I’m in trouble. I thought that was what you did when you didn’t like a performance. Later my mom got a phone call from my teacher. She starts hitting me, and takes away the books she just got me. I had to hold a quarter against the wall with my nose for hours. It smells weird.
I'm 4.
I'm messing in the kitchen. My mom's pissed for some reason. She tells me to leave. I keep bugging her. She yells at me to leave. I do, but then I jump in again. She grabs a knife and tries to slice me. I duck under the table, but she lunges after me and slams the knife into the yellow floor two times.
I’m 5.
I'm playing under the table. I point out the stab marks. Her face goes white. The next month we get a new floor.
I'm 6.
My mom is on phone with my grandma. I hear her say something about how she hid my birthday presents in the closet. Of course I check. She sees me and tried to back pedal with the conversation on the phone.
The next day, I get up before her and use my stool to check. Oh shit, she’s coming! I run back to the living room, jumping and sitting on my stool just as she was rounding the corner. No mom I just wanted to watch TV on my stool today. “Uh huh.” She goes to bathroom. I go to look. She comes bolting out. Tells me shes taking everything back, I don't get a birthday.
I don’t care about the presents. I scream at her over and over not to tell my dad.
I'm 5.
My mom and dad are yelling, but unlike normal this fight is getting really intense. Things are being thrown. They are saying things I don’t understand but I know must be bad. I'm trying to be like Eeyore in my book and break up the fight, shoving my hands out between them and yelling for them to stop.
My mom has had enough. She leaves, raging so hard she doesn’t even bother to open up the garage door. Drives right through it. My dad and I chase after her. We find her walking near her mom’s house.
I'm 6.
In the pool with mom. She's on raft, tells me not to get her wet. I swim under her. My foot gets caught on a rope in the raft. I can't get out from underneath it. I can't push up because my mom. I almost drown. Then I get yelled at because it's my fault.
I’m 27.
I feel like it’s my fault our relationship fell apart. I couldn’t love her. I’m not good enough.
I’m 16.
I’m crying. I wanted to race my friend, but our coach wanted us to do specific times. He bolted over to me yelling, angrier than I ever seen him.
I feel like a failure. I’m doing a cool down run, alternating between sprinting with pure anger coursing through my veins and weeping in a slow jog. Everyone keeps their distance. Afterwards, I feel much better. I feel so free, I even ask out a girl I was interested in. Of course, after my emotional melt down, she says no.
I’m 15. I’ve just been expelled from school for pulling a prank and then being identified as a troubled kid by the psychologist I had to see. I’m going to a new school, where no one knows me. I figure this is my chance to break out of my shell and get a girlfriend. There are a couple girls who seem interested in me. I’m completely oblivious until after I ask this one girl at my lunch table. She wasn’t really interested but gave me her number anyways.
My palms are sweaty. The number has been dialed, I just have to hit the call button. I press it. It’s ringing. She says hello. I say hi back. We chat a bit. Then radio silence. I don’t know what to say. I’m scared. This happens several times in a row. She’s not interested in me.
I’m 20.
I wake up to a voice calling my name. It’s 3:28am. There’s no one there. There’s a ringing in my ear. I hear voices within it. I’m losing my mind.
I have to be awake for PT in an hour. I’m terrified of going. I’m the fastest one in the battalion, and one of the most fit, yet I can’t do it anymore. I keep messing up everything. I’m not good enough. I feel like I’m going to go to pieces every time someone tells me something, or corrects me, or yells at me.
In basic training, I would cry almost every night.
I’m 18.
I’m the slowest one on the team again. I’m not used to this intensity or running these distances. No one likes me. No one cheers for me. I’m not good enough.
I have no friends. I had friends at the beginning of the year, but now no one likes me. I’ve ruined too many parties. They all think of me as a liability. I live alone because my two roommates moved out.
I’m 13.
I’m alone. I don’t have any friends. I spend most afternoons either reading, learning to program my TI-83 calculator, or doing recreational math. Most weekends are filled with video games. I wasn’t allowed to play them during the week, or I would be doing that too.
I’m picked on in school. Last year I was beat up on the basketball court. I don’t try to play anymore. I was too aggressive. I just want to be good at something so I don’t feel this worthless.
One morning, an announcement about signing up for track catches my attention. I’ve always been fast. I was one of the fastest kids in little league baseball, even though I was definitely the worst at the game in the entire town.
The first day rolls around. We warm up with a mile around our school, just like in gym class. It’s easy enough and I’m far from last. Then we start lining up and doing paired sprints. When it’s our turn, I immediately lose sight of my partner as I take off with everything I have. As I pass our coach who was standing at the line, he whistles. I look at him. He has this look in his eye. I know then that I found what I was looking for.
I’m 16.
I’m running an 800m at an invitational. This is my third event, and I’m exhausted. I didn’t do well in my other two races, and my dad has this look about him. He’s angry. Disappointed. He’s yelling at me.
PUSH IT! SPRINT! GO!
I try, but my body feels terrible. I finish close to last. My coach understands, and tells me he expected it with the practices we’ve been doing. It wasn’t an important invitational, and he’s preparing me for the end of the year.
My dad’s yelling at me in the car on the way home. I’m not dedicated enough. I have to work harder. I have to go to my club practice every day now. I just stare out the window, numb. There’s a ringing in my ear.
I’m 10.
We’re going ice skating with his girlfriend and her two boys, ages fourteen and eleven. The eleven year old and I are friends, pretty much brothers by this point. He’s fun and he’s really the first friend I ever had that I was close to. We enjoy a lot of the same things, and we cuddled a couple times while watching TV. I really enjoyed those nights.
I’m 5.
I go skating with my mom. We have the whole rink to ourselves, yet I keep falling over. She eventually gets fed up and takes me home. Later that night she snaps at me for not picking up my books, then slaps me as I go to pick them up.
I’m 10.
I keep falling over. I’m not good enough. My dad’s girlfriend and her boys are trying to help me. My dad didn’t even bother trying to skate. He’s up in the bleachers watching us. Every time I look at him he looks pissed off. I think we only went tonight because I said I wanted to go because I wanted to spend time with her youngest.
We’re back at her place to watch a movie. My dad is just emanating this vibe of pure pissiness. I’m praying that we stay the night. He might calm down then.
I look at her son. I want him to hold me. He makes me feel safe.
The movie ends. We’re going, despite it already being midnight. His girlfriend is insisting we stay, but he is insistent that we leave. I know what’s coming. I feel the doom lingering overhead and in my gut.
We’re in the car driving home. He hasn’t said a word. We’re going over a bridge when suddenly my head is slammed into the window. My ear is ringing. I’m slammed into it again. He’s yelling at me, telling me I’m this and I’m that. He calls me every name under the sun.
I think he’s mad because his relationship is ending.
I’m 10.
My dad has a different girlfriend. We’re out eating with his girlfriend and her one son, age eight. The night is going fine, but then they start singing. Her son deliberately starts screeching, a call back to a joke we had earlier in the day. I plug my ears, which royally pisses my dad off. He thinks I was being disrespectful to her.
I try to explain that I’m not but it’s too late. Dinner’s over and we’re leaving. They walk away first and my dad tells me to “hurry up, asshole.”
The car ride home feels like an eternity. My ear is ringing. I know he’s going to blow up on me as soon as we’re home and they leave. I remember us reaching the exit on the highway by our house and thinking this is it. Time to die.
She notices something is off, so she comes talk to me while he’s in the bathroom. I don’t tell her anything, but it is obvious that I’m scared. She says she will talk to him. She does and he doesn’t attack me that night.
I’m 10.
I forgot to do my math homework, but it’s fractions so I know I’ll be able to do it before class. It’s Sunday, and my dad has a rule that I need to not wait until the last minute to do all my work.
I’m playing video games upstairs when I hear my dad cursing from the basement. Apparently a sewer line broke, and my dad is hauling literal shit up and out of the house. I try to help, but I just get in the way. He pushes me, and I try harder.
Time goes on. It doesn’t look like this is going to be over any time soon. Out of the blue, my dad asks if I did my homework.
My head’s getting slammed against the kitchen floor over and over and over again. All I see as my world’s shaking is his bald head, so red it looks like a cherry tomato. My glasses fly off. He smacks them away. I didn’t need them right then, so they’re useless. He calls me useless as he’s getting off of me.
I get up and grab my backpack. There’s a ringing in my ears. I start doing my homework at the kitchen table, but my hands shaking so much I can barely write. He goes back down. He comes back up again and throws the waste water outside.
I’m back on the floor. My head’s getting slammed again. Now I’m doing homework and getting the door for him. I get it too late, and he has to slow down. He yells at me with this look of pure rage in his eyes. I’m terrified. He goes back down and I return to my homework. He comes back up, but this time I’m too zealous. I slam the door against the wall.
I’m on the floor again. He calls me a retarded faggot. I get up and only focus on the door. I can’t do anything right.
He tells me this is the last load. He stays outside smoking. I’m just standing in the kitchen with my mind racing. I have to do something. I can’t let myself do something to deserve that again. I decide to do my homework.
He comes in and sees me doing my homework. He has an incredulous look on his face and asks me who told me to do my homework. I fear I’m going on the floor again. The tears are welling in my eyes, but he just shakes his head.
Fifteen minutes later, his girlfriend calls. Everything’s fine. He’s talking normally, calmly. Nothing happened and we’re off to dinner with her and her two sons.
I’m 11.
My dad has a different girlfriend, his future ex-wife. She goes off to a dart tournament for a weekend. I do what I normally do on the weekends: I go upstairs and I play video games.
I’m 9.
She’s starting to go downhill. I’m scared. I know she’s dying. I’ve known she’s been dying my whole life, I just never acknowledged it. I don’t want to look in her eye again. I play video games.
I’m 10. I’m 11. Im 12. I’m 13. I’m 14. I’m 15.
My dad yells at me, telling me I’m a terrible person because I chose to play video games instead of spending time with her.
I’m 9.
I won first place at the science fair. They’re both proud of me. I can’t look at her though. She just had the stitches in her dead eye removed. She looks like less of a zombie now, but she’s still scary. I try to avoid her gaze.
I’m 11.
My dad’s in a mood. I try to avoid spending time with him. This just makes him more upset.
We get a new couch. I put my feet on it. He responds by yanking me by the leg and punching me in the bone. The next day, he’s super ornery. I know it’s coming, I just don’t know what will trigger it. He asks me if I took out the trash.
I don’t remember all of it. I’m thrown around and slammed against whatever’s nearby. He smashes my head into the back of my door, breaking it. He would later say that I did it. He’s choking me on the bed, then swats me around. He goes to choke me again, and I grab his wrist in an attempt to stop him. He smiles. He tells me not to resist.
He throws me to the ground. I had two shelves that held everything my mom ever made me. Everything is broken on the floor. He carries me to the living room, dropping me on the ground. He tells me to lay there like a dog. He gets the vacuum, then hits me in the head on the way to my room. He cleans up. Then he hits me in the head again on the way back.
He tells me to go sit on my bed. “Don’t. Move. An. Inch.” He goes to the dump and I’m left sitting there, staring at the same letter e on the spine of a book in front of me. I’m frozen in place. My biggest fear is him finding out I had taken some of his girlfriend’s porn cards and hid them in with my Pokemon cards. I think I could take them back. No. He could come back at any minute.
He’s back. He asks if I have anything to say. Frozen. He tells me to stand up, that I don’t deserve to sit. He tells me to think of an apology. I stood there coming up with an memorizing the best apology I could think of. I still remember it.
I’m sorry dad. I’m sorry for being lazy and not respecting you. I’m sorry I did not take out the trash and I promise that I will be better in the future. I will put more effort into being a better son. I am to blame for upsetting you. I am inconsiderate and I’m sorry.
It’s not good enough. I stand. I stand. I stand some more. Hours go by. I’m still standing, not moving an inch. He comes back and asks if I have anything to say. I start to rattle off another apology I had been working on. He just walks away. I keep standing. It’s past my bedtime. Still standing.
Come. I come. He talks to me. His talking. It’s indescribable. It is a slow and calculated speech. He shits in my soul line by line. He has certain phrases that he repeats. I am not angry, I am livid. Am I crystal clear, with heavy emphasis on the crystal.
The lecture runs right into predictable territory. I’m selfish because I didn’t spend time with her. Do you know what she died from? I respond cancer, as I’ve been told. No. She had AIDS Greg. Do you know what AIDS is? Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome.She got it by being irresponsible, like you.
I’m 10.
I’m called upstairs. My dad’s at the computer. He spends the night showing me pictures of STD-infected genitals. Everything is horrifically gross. Disgusting. But I stand there and watch as he shows and describes to me how each person got their disease and what it does.
Sex is bad.
I’m 16.
I’m in health class. We’re going over a unit on STDs. The teacher begins showing us some pictures. I feel light-headed. I pass out.
I’m 11.
As I’m standing listening to him lecture me, my vision starts getting weird. His face keeps morphing. I keep blinking to get it back to normal. I start getting galactic visuals like when you press on your eyes. Things go black. I wake up on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on my head. My dad seems concerned. He asks me how I’m feeling and gives me a popsicle. I get a few minutes rest. Then he tells me to go to bed.
I brush my teeth, then I stand over him as he’s sitting. He doesn’t look at me. Normally, we have a good night kiss. With everything that’s happened, I don’t think I’m getting a kiss tonight. I don’t kiss him. I get back to my room.
“Greg….Get tHE FUCK BACK IN HERE.”
I forgot to put in effort. I forgot to put in the effort to kiss him.
I don’t remember this part much. I remember getting my hair combed and stabbed in the head with the teeth.
I'm 4.
My dad throws me across the room. He and my mom are fighting. He leaves. She calls the cops. They come and talk to her. I remember waving at them at the door while sipping on my juice box. My dad says this never happened.
I’m 5.
I pee my pants. My dad spanks me for every drop.
I'm 4.
I’m in the bathtub. Bubble bath! Look mom! The bubbles make my fingers slide in easy! I can stick my whole finger in my butt mom! She looks at me with disgust. My dad calls me something that I don’t remember. I can probably guess what it is.
I’m 7.
I’m in the bathtub. I swish swash and flood the bathroom. My dad calls me a cocksucker for a week.
I’m 9.
She’s on her way out. She was becoming delirious. I know it’s happening. Everyone knows. My dad and my grandma get into a fight. He tried making her leave, and she wound up scratching him. They never got along. My dad rarely gets along with anyone.
She called out for her mom all night. She already couldn’t talk right because the infection that took her eye cost her the use of half her face. She’s just slurring her words and she’s just devolving by the minute. She was like a child calling for their mother. She was crying and she didn’t know where she was.
My dad keeps hovering back and forth between her room and my room. It was getting real late so I was trying to sleep, but it was impossible. I didn’t sleep the whole night. There’s a ringing in my ears.
Time passes. She having episodes where she’s screaming and yelling and fighting with my dad. He’s trying to convince her to sleep. She does for a bit, and then she starts calling for her mom again. This repeats again and again. My dad keeps bursting into my room to vent. He’s out of it. It’s really shaking him to his core.
Then one time she calls out for her mom. I don’t hear my dad go to help. She keeps yelling nonstop. I try to find my dad. He’s nowhere to be found. So, I go in to her room. She’s naked. Her body is covered in sores. I’m trying to help her, talking to her, but it’s not getting through. She’s completely delirious.
As I’m trying to help her, a voice in the back of my head tells me to grab her boob. I don’t, the idea disgusts me, but I look at them. She sees me.
She yells at me.
“You are no son!”
submitted by iShrugs to u/iShrugs [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 20:29 anonpsychogirl Am I the Psycho One Here??

Dear Reddit – I am sure I will get skewered but I am struggling to figure out what has happened to me over the past few years.
Three and a half years ago I got an email from an old love "Jim" that was going through a divorce with his wife. I’d like to explain – that I was very careful and standoffish in the beginning not wanting to effect the course of the marriage in any manner. I actually asked and encouraged him several times – to go to his wife and ask her if they could work things out. He did twice and he told me that she said there was no way to save the marriage. Shortly thereafter – I fell in love – hard. His wife had kicked him out of the house and he moved in with me and my two kids that I share half time with my ex-husband. I was a little worried that things were moving so quickly - but Jim assured me that his feelings were real, that he loved me like no other and that he had thought about me for the last 20 years.
I was extremely happy – thought I had finally found the love of my life – he was hilarious, intelligent, kind to me, generous and successful. The first year and a half was perfect. I should have known – it was too good. I was madly in love and we spent all of our time together. I knew the relationship was not entirely healthy – he was an alcoholic and a gambling addict and his mood could sometimes be very dark. He also had an almost non-existent relationship with his family. I tried to bridge the distance between him and his mother as well as the rest of his family members and I became close to them and we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together for the past few years. My two kids also became very close to his two kids.
The first major red flag that occurred was a little over a year in. The daughter of a friend of mine came to stay with me (and Jim) while she found an apartment in the city I lived in. Jennifer was 27 years old and very attractive. I recall one Saturday afternoon – she wanted to go to the thrift store – I wasn’t in the mood and Jim eagerly volunteered to take her. I felt weird about his eagerness to spend time alone with Jennifer and maybe sulked about it for a couple hours but got over it pretty quickly. A few weeks later – we met Jennifer for dinner. She was wearing a very very very low cut shirt and I recall Jim being almost giddy at the dinner table. Jim often commented on how “hot” young girls were but I am not the jealous type – and often thought he was just being over the top to be funny. Later that evening we ended up going to a strip club – Jim starting flirting with the waitress and when Jennifer wanted to leave – he begged her to stay – I ended up getting upset and went home angry. Jim stayed out. I called him several times and he finally called back to say that he was staying the night at his nieces house. It didn’t sound right – I went to his old phone that was laying in a drawer and found his location. He was at Jennifer’s apartment. I immediately drove over and knocked on the door. He was sleeping on the couch and ended up going home with me. He apologized explaining that he just needed somewhere to stay because they had drank too much. I felt as if he wasn’t telling me the truth. I called Jennifer two days later and she told me that he had also tried to kiss her and was “very persistent” but that she declined and that nothing had happened. I was devastated. I confronted Jim and he apologized and said it would never happen again. However – his apology seemed hollow and he got angry at me when I wasn’t getting over it fast enough.
After the Jennifer incident – things seemed to go back to normal. We spent most of our time doing the things he enjoyed i.e. drinking, gambling, strip clubs, cartoons etc. I didn’t mind because we had fun – lotsa fun – at the end of the night we would dance and sing to songs he would play for me and he would whisper sweet things in my ear… like how he wanted to marry me in Hawaii and how he wanted to take care of me, buy a house with me, etc. His younger son lived a couple hours away and he would spend a week with me and then a week up at his house near his young son. We talked about buying the house we were renting and fixing it up – or buying a house somewhere else. We spent holidays together and our kids got along great. I was happy.
But – something always seemed to be a bit off – I didn’t fully trust him. I began noticing that he would be on his phone a lot – texting. So – while I never felt the need to look at my ex partner’s phones and I’m not proud of this -- I ended up snooping on his phone. I found part of a conversation that he was having with his friend “Mandy” and another woman – where he talked about wanting to cum on someone’s face. I confronted him – he said he was joking and that if I ever looked at his phone again – he would dump me because to him – this was a major violation of trust. Unfortunately - because I was so in love – I believed him. I found it strange that he didn’t see my point of view at all i.e. that his past actions had made me feel insecure in the relationship and that I felt that he needed to earn my trust back. Jim said I was ridiculous for feeling insecure and snooping. I was also taken aback by the intensity of his anger surrounding the fact that i had looked at his phone.
Time went on and things were mostly good unless I showed any emotional neediness. If I said I was stressed about money for instance – he would tell me I was a downer and to stop playing the victim. I was working full time and Jim did not have to work but instead was living off of the 400k that he had in his stock brokerage account when he and his wife divorced - that he had since turned into 1.2 million dollars as well as his ownership interest in the family business. I was often stressed -- because I had previously lost some of my savings/retirement in an investment and was working 50 hours a week for a boss that was very full of himself (I had worked with several difficult people in the past – but this guy was different – he would actually say things in an extremely condescending manner to try and make you feel stupid – and I wasn’t the first employee that had spent a day at their desk in tears because of harsh words by this guy). If I complained about money or my boss – Jim – would get agitated – and tell me that he bet I didn’t dump this kind of emotional baggage on my other friends. I was disappointed – but eventually learned to control my emotions and not look to Jim for emotional support – however, I would lose it from time to time like when Jim would talk about his great success in the market – and I would just want to feel like we were a team and that we could build a future together.
At this time, I also began noticing that he was spending less and less time with me and more and more time in the City where his son lived -- even when his son would be in the care of his mother. I would complain and he would tell me that if I wasn’t so emotional – things would work out and we would bet together forever, we could be a team etc. I had also noticed that he wasn't say nice things to me as often. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time he had told me he loved me or that I was pretty or anything else nice for that matter. I also remembered that during this time – he accidentally sent me a text that was meant for his single friend “Don.” He was planning on going out on Don’s boat that day and asked if there would be any other “single” people there because married people were “boring.” I was hurt and asked him if he wanted to be single – he said that again – I was being childish and that he was an adult and didn’t want me restricting his freedom. For the next six months – I vowed to stay chill with my emotions – no matter what occurred and whether it hurt.
I remember around Christmas last year – he sent me a text saying – that he wanted to tell me that he loved me – because he knew he hadn’t in a very long time – and that I was kind to him and that he didn’t deserve it. I was so happy – to hear that he did still love me that I burst into tears… I had thought that because I had been “good” and not bothered him with my emotional baggage or other relationship "demands" i.e. seeing each other more.… that he loved me again and that things would go back to normal i.e. we would start planning our future together and see each other more.
I remember some time last February – I went to Jim’s house and ended up waking up in the middle of the night. I sat down at his computer that he had given me the password to when we were trying to place a sports bet. I went to type in something and noticed the first previous search bar that popped up was a craigslist add for a hooker in Dallas Texas – where his adult son “Matt” lived. I knew that Jim was planning on visiting Matt for his birthday and while I had been invited on such vacations in the past, I wasn’t invited on this one. Shortly thereafter, I was making Jim’s bed and found a condom on the floor. – we didn’t use condoms. I confronted Jim on both issues. He became livid and the discussion got more heated than I would like to admit. He accused me of being insecure, emotional, petty etc. and explained that he was planning to rent this hooker for photos with Matt and his friends for Matt’s birthday. He also explained that the condom was probably Matt’s from the time Matt and his girlfriend had spent at his place during Christmas. He then told me he no longer trusted me because it was obvious I was snooping, violating his trust etc. and that I needed to leave his house immediately. He then accused me of bizarre things like – turning over the photos of his kids (which I had not done – I actually loved his kids and had even put photos of them up at my house). I told him I wanted to stay and to try and work things out – but his tone was so mean – it was like I was talking to another person. I broke down and cried – Jim had no empathy – he told me to stop being a baby, to grow up and get control of myself.. Jim left me at his house the next day and told me that he was so angry he was staying somewhere else. Once again – I was devastated and he made me feel as if it were my fault. And I believed him.
Things were on and off again from there on… Jim would be kind and show me attention from time to time but then other times – would tell me I was too emotional and “crazy” for him to be with. He also started saying – things like – I need to find a new “good” girlfriend and that I should do the same. I thought he was joking. I felt strongly that he had fallen out of love or more likely was never in love with me but somehow believed him when he would say that if I could just stop being so emotional and needy that the relationship would strengthen and go back to how it was in the beginning. During this time - I would ask Jim how he felt about me and he would tell me that he “loved” me when I was being normal and not crazy. So – I stupidly tried to sweep my feelings under the rug and offered up my love and friendship to him without asking for anything in return. Towards the end of the summer – Jim planned a family vacation with his kids and his niece that I had also become friends with. My sons and I weren’t invited. I was hurt but he explained that he didn’t need someone “crazy” around – and that he just needed to spend some quality time with them. I understood. He and his kids stopped by my house on their way back from their vacation we hung out as if we were a couple again. We were intimate and Jim even sent me a text of quote talking about loving someone so much that it hurt. I was happy – He said we could see each other more if I would just stop being so psycho all the time.
Shortly thereafter – Jim invited me to his house – I was excited. I thought maybe we were starting to repair things. I hadn’t been there in months. While I was there, he took me to this property that he had decided to buy with this young single mom/real estate agent that he had just met. I was upset - but tried to hold it together. I think I was mostly upset because we had talked about buying a house together where I would put down some $$ and he would put down some $$ and I had also asked him several times if he had wanted to invest with me as I loved investing in fixer-uppers and building spec homes. He had always declined explaining that he didn’t have enough money because it was all in stocks etc. and that if this stock went up he would etc.
When he took me to the property – I said it was beautiful – but that I wasn’t sure if it would make a good investment as the sitework would be very expensive and the price that you could get for the homes out there didn’t really justify the costs involved with the development. He got angry- very angry – and called me petty, jealous, insecure and immature. He said – you’d have no problem if she was a male. I said that wasn’t true and that maybe I was a little insecure about the fact that she was so striking but that most of my hurt stemmed from the fact that he wanted to invest with someone else other than me – after I had sent him a million properties to look at as an investment over the years and he had declined all of my ideas. I asked if – I could see the numbers and if it looked good, I could maybe put in some cash too as it would be fun to do a project together – he said "no – I don’t want to do a project with someone as emotional as you." I later found out that he had purchased the property with cash and formed a LLC with this woman that he did not know and was willing to split the profits with her 50/50. We got into a huge argument – and I lost it. I screamed that he was mean and that I thought he was buying property with another person – just to spite me! He called me manipulative and controlling just like his mother and ex-wife. He explained that he was an adult and could buy anything he wanted. I said - I agreed but that it still hurt because I felt like he was listening to this woman's opinion over mine. I cried – and for the first time ever -- He laughed at me for crying. It was at that point – I started questioning everything – did this person who I deeply loved – have any empathy at all whatsoever? I had seen him hug his niece when she was upset and crying once – but he had never offered me that kind of care when I was upset. But to actually laugh and take enjoyment from someone else’s pain? I was not only devastated but I then started questioning not only my own judgment by my own sanity. Maybe – I deserved this – I thought – Maybe I am jealous… I know I am too emotional… etc. I left in tears.
We slowly starting talking again. Then - a couple weeks later – I was on social media and noticed – that he had commented on this photo of this female with her boobs hanging out – it was a fire emoji. I was hurt and pissed. I had no idea that he was out flirting with other people. I thought we were on again off-again -but that we were still working things out and might get back together. After I saw his comment, I sent him a million angry texts that I’m not proud of – things like “f*&$ you” – “I hope you drop dead” etc. I know. I know. No excuse - not okay - I own it. I realize that this was an overreaction for a comment on a photo – but by that point – I felt as if it was a confirmation of what I had thought all along – he was treating himself as single when I wasn’t around -- I had finally lost it and was angry – very angry. I thought to myself – what else don’t I know? That’s when I checked Tinder – I made a fake account and sure enough – Jim was on there – “divorced for 20 years. Friends first then connection. No drama.” My heart shattered. I had no idea he was actually dating other people – especially since we had just slept together a week and a half earlier. I was so hurt. I immediately called Jim. His immediate reaction of course was anger – but when he understood that I knew he was on Tinder – he explained – that his "friend" had signed him up and that he had only been on for a week and that we were broken up. He also said he was deleting his account. I took that as a sign that there was still a chance we could mend things. I know – I look like a pathetic idiot at this point.
After the Tinder incident - I told Jim that I still loved him and wanted to work things out - he immediately showed up on my doorstep and spent the next couple days with me – he was sweet and kind, and we were intimate – but we didn’t talk about our future at all. We again started texting all day long like we had done before when things were good and when I tried to raise the issue of how he felt about me - he basically said - don't start- and that if i could just let things be -- they would get better. At this point – I had no idea – how Jim really felt about me – I just remembered the good Jim and how great those first two years had been – and the last six months just felt like this surreal bad dream. I just wanted it over – or to know once and for all how Jim really felt about me.
That's when I did one of the worst things I’ve probably ever done. I signed up on Tinder under a fake account and sure enough – Jim was on there. This was of course – after he had stated several times that he wasn’t. I swiped right – Jim had liked me too!! I sent him a message as “Carly” and before you know it – I was meeting Jim for a drink… and I was extremely flirtatious… the texting quickly turned sexual - he loved it – I ended up cancelling at the last minute (because I’m two hours away) – and said I would make it up to him. He said he could meet up with me on Saturday after he got back from running an errand near where I lived (Jim didn’t tell me he was coming to my town to run an errand). Friday night, Carly texted to see if they were still on - he texted back saying he was horny and couldn’t wait... Shortly before his Tinder date – I was sure to tell Jim that I missed him and loved him and still wanted to work things out. He texted me back a love song – (which he had explained was his way of telling me he loved me) with lyrics like “the love that I feel is oh so strong”… etc. I was disgusted - It was at this point that I realized that not one of the songs that he had sent me in the past meant anything to him. That it was all lies. I hopped in the car and drove up to meet him – he showed up looking dapper and ready to mingle. I thought about just cancelling on him – but I needed to see his reaction – because in the past – when I had confronted him about questionable behavior – he was always able to explain it away – and I was usually in such an emotional state – that nothing was ever clear. This time, I would be watching his reaction closely with a clear head and there was really no way he could explain this away.
When I came walking in – he looked as if he had seen a ghost. Jim was livid. I tried to tell him that since things had been so confused and he wouldn’t be honest with me – that I had to figure out for myself what was going on. He said I had gone too far and that this was next level devious/psycho shit and that if I posted this story on Reddit – I would be the one skewered. I felt bad. I told him I was sorry that I had hurt his feelings and that I didn’t do it to make him feel stupid or embarrassed – that I just needed to know the truth. He actually told me - that he just wanted to talk to some person that was nice and wasn't me or is his ex-wife. I didn't really say much - because there was really no point anymore. So anyway – I am posting this on Reddit – to see – if I am a terrible person or if perhaps – my crazy actions might have been justified by Jim’s behavior. Sorry – this is so long – but – without the background facts – even I think that I appear psycho. Also - while I still love Jim - I don't think there's any recovering from the above - Thoughts??
TL/DR - i made a fake Tinder account after months of breaking up and getting back together with my ex to see if he was lying to me about his feelings and interest in dating other people. He set a date with my fake Tinder girl, I showed up and he was extremely angry - called me psycho and said if i posted this on Reddit - I would be skewered.
submitted by anonpsychogirl to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 17:35 ohsnapitsjf Rock Band in 2020 (and onward!): FAQ (Availability, Compatibility, Exports, and the Future)

(Updating archived thread. See prior discussion/questions here.)
Here’s some as-quick-as-possible answers to questions prospective new/returning/sporadic players might have about the current state of the series. I (or other intrepid commenters) can field additional questions in the comments, I’ll be keeping this living. Please note that although HMX community managers could potentially stop in time to time to help answer further questions or address issues, I am personally not with the company, this thread is not an official resource, and I do not have any insider info that isn’t generally public, nor will any HMX employees likely make any significant, previously-unknown announcements about future plans in this thread.

What Rock Band game(s) are currently available?

The currently active version and only option for current-gen consoles (PS4 and Xbox One) is Rock Band 4, originally released in October 2015. There was an expansion pack for RB4 called Rock Band Rivals released for it in October 2016. The core game without the Rivals expansion is not available digitally; You will automatically have it if you buy it new on either console marketplace. You will only need to buy the Rivals expansion if you purchased the game before the expansion was released, or if you find a physical version.

Is the game still active?

Harmonix is still releasing new songs for it weekly, as well as weekly challenges in the Rivals mode for players who own the Rivals expansion. Those challenges will also earn you additional content, such as outfits for your characters, in-game instruments, or track skins.

How can I find instruments for the game?

Unfortunately, the hardware partners Harmonix worked with to manufacture new equipment for the game are no longer making new instruments or adapters. There is no official word on whether new hardware will be made by any other company at this time. Any new product/bundles/adapters available through retail outlets are heavily overpriced due to the lack of supply over the past few years.
The best option for instruments is to scour places for second-hand sales, such as Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, local pawn shops, etc. Be careful about conducting those types of transactions, and make sure all necessary parts are included, including the necessary Bluetooth dongles for PS3 instruments. Please also note that due to the lack of any ability for Reddit mods/admins to police those types of transactions, they cannot be offered or conducted publicly on this subreddit. For playing vocals, almost any USB microphone will work.
If you’re on Xbox One, you will need specially-made adapters to use instruments not specifically made for Rock Band 4/Xbox One. Legacy (Xbox 360) wireless controllers will require a Mad Catz Wireless Legacy Adapter. Wired/MIDI drumkits will require a PDP Wired Adapter. Neither are being newly manufactured at this time (same issues as the instruments). There are methods of pulling apart and re-wiring drums to connect them to other devices that may function as a workaround, but try them at your own risk.
This link will help with the specifics of what will be compatible with the new consoles: https://harmonix.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/217769748-What-legacy-music-game-controllers-will-be-compatible-with-Rock-Band-4-

What songs are still available to download/purchase? How do I get my old stuff?

In a general sense: Anything official (NOT from Rock Band Network, the last-gen secondary shop of songs not directly licensed by HMX) that you’d purchased on your current console account in the past will be immediately available to download through your console’s content management menus/screens upon install of the game. This includes game disc setlist exports from the past that you’d paid to move into other games at the time.
Most game disc setlists you did not pay to export last-gen are no longer available to newly obtain. Harmonix no longer has the rights to sell those songs as a bundle. Unused Track Packs and other printed marketplace codes may still work, but new codes or export methods cannot be generated in any way.
You can newly export the Rock Band 3 setlist for $15, if you’ve played RB3 on your current console profile at all. RB3 is not playable on current-gen systems, so if you hadn't played in the past and would like to obtain eligibility now, you will need access to the game and a last-gen console with internet connectivity to play for at least a couple minutes. It’s unofficially suggested to simply calibrate AV, thus earning an achievement/trophy, but that is not specifically required for the export eligibility. Other on-disc setlists are not available in this way, but a few songs from the expired setlists have been re-released as individual DLC under the branding “Rewinds”.
IMPORTANT EDIT: The RB3 export will be expiring on (or around) December 1st. After that, it will no longer be purchasable.
Almost all DLC officially released over the course of the series is still available to purchase for RB4. There are a relatively few songs that have had to be removed from the store for licensing reasons, including some major artists such as Metallica, Fleetwood Mac, and Journey. There are no ways to get those songs now if you hadn’t bought them when available. The link to view those delisted songs can be found here: http://www.harmonixmusic.com/blog/rock-band-dlc-relicensing-info. If more songs need to be delisted in the future, there has historically been about a month's worth of warning before they get pulled from the store. They'll be announced there in that blog, or in a "Last Call" section in the in-game store.

Will there be another Rock Band/next gen game?

There are no current announcements for another game in the series. With the announcement of backwards compatibility for both next-gen consoles, the hope is that both software and hardware will function the same then as it does now on the current generation (including all required adapters), and RB4 can continue to be supported with new content. Harmonix is currently testing these configurations and will have an announcement as soon as they can.
submitted by ohsnapitsjf to Rockband [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 18:45 mr_tomorrow New to Arcata - looking for housing

Hello all, My partner and I have relocated to Arcata from Maryland. She is a California native coming home, and I have always dreamed of living in California.
There are so many listings on Craigslist that go absolutely no where. We are ready to move in and have savings set aside for living for a bit. We both have access to new work in Arcata. Currently staying with friends in SF.
Any help would be great!
submitted by mr_tomorrow to Arcata [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 03:25 drugfriendthrowaway I(F30) cut my friend's boyfriend (M28) out of my life because of addiction issues and it's caused some drama

My dear sweet friend, the most compassionate, loving, kind hearted person I have ever known has been in a relationship with a man now for about 7 years. He is intelligent, talented and friendly, but has been struggling with alcohol and crack cocaine since before they met.
When they first started dating, there were a few times it became apparent that he was drinking until black out, falling of the radar for a night here and there and causing my friend to be incredibly upset and worry for his safety. I listened to her concerns, and tbh I related. My husband and I are both former addicts. My husband has relapsed for a one year period in the 12 we have been together. He drinks more often than I would like, 2-3 times a week but never to black out or out of contact with me, He kind of just gets happy and chatty and it bugs me a bit. I guess me and my friend kind of bonded over this mutual understanding of what it is like to live with an alcoholic/addict.
But over the years, her cycle with her boyfriend became more....intense. It felt like every other week she was crying because she found crack paraphernalia in their home and thought he was using again, only to have him tell her she was mistaken and it was from a long time ago. She stopped bringing him to hang out at our home because she would arrive home after work to find him already very drunk. She had had so many conversations with him about his addictions and is so understanding and supportive. She loves this guy so much and is forever hopeful he will recover.
I was the only person she was 100% honest with about what was happening. So when she told me a few things that raised some serious red flags, I was honest with her about my thoughts on their relationship. Things like: "He told me if I started work a bit earlier and got home earlier, he wouldn't be tempted to drink so much." or "I saw craigslist casual encounters with men pop up on his computer when I was away for the night, but he assures me it was just curiosity and nothing happened." or "I was up all night worried because he didn't come home, but he said he just drank too much and passed out at his friends place and I believe him." I started to feel like I was being emotionally sucked in and because of my history as a drug user and the partner of drug users, for previous relationships and current one, I saw through all his lies to my friend and found it all a bit over whelming and triggering.
This is where I should have set a boundary. But I didn't.
I wake up one morning last year to a bunch of messages from her. She had gone out the night before and arrived home to her bf blue, motionless and very near death on their front step. He had accidentally overdosed on either crack or heroin or a combo of the two. An ambulance came and he survived with no permanent damage. My friend was traumatized. I didn't know she was, he survived and I thought that she would be relieved. I don't understand shock, this was all above my pay grade. I listened to her, hugged her and cried for her. And then I got mad. Mad at this asshole who keeps fucking up and making my friend so worried and sad. I told her she has some serious choices to make about what kind of life she wants to live. I told her I cannot have this man in my life anymore for my own wellbeing and cannot be her support person for matters to do with him anymore. My message was strong and exactly what I wanted to say, but the timing was very wrong and I understand that now. I have apologized for that part.
And now present day. He is sad that I don't want him in my life. I have removed him from FB (which pissed her off) She is upset because he is crying and sad when she spends time with me because I "act like he doesn't exist". To me this is him being manipulative. I was never close with him and I feel angry that he is putting my friend in this situation. She wanted me to talk to him and I held firm on my boundary of not engaging with him. I thought she had talked to him about this.
Now he is messaging my husband (whom he was also never close with at all) wanting to "clear the air and set things straight" and that he misses us. We only hung out, in a large group, maybe twice in the last few years. My husband has lost a brother and a best friend to drug overdoses. He deals with that trauma every day and doesn't want to be around drug users any more. He ignored the message. I sent one to friends boyfriend explaining everything I have explained here as to why I cannot have him in my life. I haven't heard anything back.
My friend keeps being upset with me, as if I have done something wrong. Am I really that judgmental and cruel for cutting this man out of my life? Because somehow every time this whole thing comes up, I end up feeling like I am such a bitch and have made this decision that has caused a bunch of hurt to my friend. I don't want to lose this friend, she is so dear to me, but I am worried she will have to choose him over me and somehow it will be my fault.
If you made it this far, thank you!
submitted by drugfriendthrowaway to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 00:50 crows-eye1961 Why are car sellers (and some buyers) so ignorant about liens?

A lien on a car means that the car seller either has an outstanding balance on a car loan on the vehicle up for sale or has used that vehicle as collateral on another debt. In either case, until that lien is cleared the lender (bank) has a legal claim to that vehicle no matter who owns it. If the debtor defaults, the bank can legally repossess that car. It is a huge risk to buy a car with a lien on it. Many people have bought cars only to have them towed away by the seller’s bank. The last two weeks my partner and I have been trying to buy a used car through Craigslist and FB marketplace. In Canada where we live, used car dealers are legally obligated to clear liens on any vehicle they sell. Not so for private sellers. When inquiring about a car I always ask private sellers if their is a lien. If we decide to make an offer, I confirm vehicle information with a Carfax report that includes a lien check. Twice now we have gotten to the offer stage on cars we thought were lien free only to receive the Carfax report and find outstanding liens. In one case, when I asked about the lien the seller just stopped replying. The second seller said she had a car loan and didn’t know that was what a lien was. That seller, who wasn’t some dumb kid but ran an online marketing business, told us the lien was no big deal. We buy the car and they pay off the loan. My response was fine, get a document from their bank showing the outstanding loan balance to prove that the purchase price is enough to pay the balance of their loan. If I buy their car I will go with them to their bank and witness the purchase funds being used to pay off the loan and clear the lien. They never replied. My assumption is that they never intended on clearing the lien and instead needed the money to pay other debts or maintain an overspending lifestyle. Another seller admitted he had a lien without me having to get a Carfax report. When I said the lien needed to be cleared, he had a serious hissy fit on FB Messenger, calling me an idiot who didn’t know what I was talking about. His argument (rant) was that lots of people have car loans and sell their cars, just like lots of people sell houses who have mortgages. I pointed out that when you sell or buy a house a real estate lawyer does clear all titles and debts. He ignored that and said I just needed to trust that sellers will either pay off their loan or at least keep making payments. I was, in his words, making a big f—king deal about nothing. Thing is, a lien is a big deal and I worry that a lot of buyers don’t know how big a deal it is. In fact, a popular guide to used car buying on Reddit said nothing about doing a lien check! So yes, absolutely do a lien check on any used vehicle you buy privately and if you are selling, make arrangements to clear your lien and pay your debts.
submitted by crows-eye1961 to personalfinance [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 06:57 Bitemebitch00 I'm at a point where my life is changing but I feel stuck..

TRIGGER: sexual abuse.
It's like fucking everything I do is wrong.... and yeah I get this is probably a flashback to when my parents acted like fucking everything I do is wrong but this is wrong. I'm at a place in my life where I dont like anything. I dont like it.. I dont like any of it. My job, my dog, my boyfriend, my space, my home, my counselor, my couch, the new things I got from craigslist! I don't like anything or anyone. You have to be real special for me to give you any space in my heart.
I dont like it. I dont like this. Dont come at me acting like you know what I'm talking about. (Not directed at any of you, just directing that to people in my life, in general.) I'm just pained. I'm sick and tired of this bullshit. This pain. This sickness.
I am a sickness and nobody wants to come near me with a five foot pole. Only I realize I'm projecting and IM the one who really doesnt want to go near me with a five foot pole. Its hard.. it really is. All this bullshit is hard...
Does anyone else deal with being triggered after making out with your boyfriend or girlfriend or partner?? I do. This is all bulsshit. Just remembering bad memories where my dad TRIGGER WARNING molested me with his freakin tongue shoved down me throat where I was fucking helpless is enough.
submitted by Bitemebitch00 to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 05:32 Throwawayiea We've all had those on again off again relationship sagas...[SUPPORT ONLY]

I (47) cannot make him (26) realize that what he wants from us is a relationship. For starters, he’s Persian and he’s not out but it sounds like they know already. Also, he’s not practicing but I believe that the muslim religion also plays into his fear of coming out. I’m his first guy ever.
So, I believe that his subconscious self wants me badly but his conscious self fights it. We met years ago on a craigslist hook up. After a few meetings, we realized that we wanted more from each other. So, we agreed to talk about it. On this meeting, I requested that we not have sex because that’s all we ever did. So, on that meeting, he presented me with a diamond ring and a handmade cup with the words “Love” on it. He bought me a bunch of gifts. And, I broke down because I was so touched by the sentiment that we had amazing sex. My one after thought was that he didn’t really kiss me because I felt he wasn’t comfortable with kissing a guy.
From there it went down hill. I think he scared himself into how much he feels for me. I didn’t want to be upstaged, so I bought him a diamond ring. He started to ignore my messages etc. He claimed that he was sick. Finally after weeks of avoidance, he texted me that he’s not gay and he only sees me as a friend. It really hurt me. I never got to give him the diamond ring that I bought. We stopped talking (my choice) as he wanted to remain friends (non-sexual).
We hadn’t talked for months but I wished him a happy birthday via text on his birthday. He replied saying that he’s got a girlfriend. I found this ironic since he’s a big bottom.
This past Wednesday, He poured out his heart to me again. He broke up with his girlfriend. He says that I’m not being fair to him as he needs more time to become comfortable with the idea of being with another man. I told him that I cannot because I cannot get over the pain of him lying to me and breaking up with me. He dumped me via text.
I asked if I could be with him one last night for closure. I explained that he was allowed to have a night where he expressed himself with gifts. I wanted to give him the ring and have my turn to express myself with gifts. I also requested no sex. He said OK.
So, we met at a hotel. On one hand, he was so affectionate but on the other hand, he kept proposing non-sexual friendship for our future. He also had these fantasies of us starting a business together or youtube channel together. He was super touched by all the gifts I gave him. We got stoned and went out to eat. We got the giggles. He got super chatty which I liked. We then went back to the hotel room and he started making sexual advances. I said no. I told him that this is our night of closure. He didn’t want that but he didn’t want a relationship either. I asked him what did he want and by his words it sounds like a relationship but without the committment.
He wants me to forget that he hurt me. I cannot. He even deleted the text from our conversation history. I just found him to be highly manipulative. He almost got me to fall for it too. I told him about the way he kissed the last time. So, then he kissed me so passionately that I sort of melted and at least took my shirt off. He was happy. However, he would say anything to me except that he loves me. I said that I love him.
I told him that the worst thing that I could ask of him was to love me and the worst thing he could ask of me is to ask “Why do I love him?”
He asked if I could give him more time and I said no. I honestly don’t think he’s capable of having a healthy relationship. He then said something that shocked me. He said that if I cut him out of my ife that I would be responsible for his suicide. This made me cry. I have never cried in front of him and now I am angry and crying. He thinks that we should see a councelor.
I just find him highly manipulative. He wants me but on terms that aren’t acceptable to me. He basically wants an in the closet boyfriend which I won’t do. I stood my ground as I don’t think what he is offering is healthy for either of us. Please don’t judge me too harshly because I am really hurting from this and I just need friends right now. With RBG dying (no I’m not American but still) and then my one gay male cousin calling me saying that he and his partner of 15 years are getting a divorce (everyone is shocked). I’m at a real low right now.
submitted by Throwawayiea to gayyoungold [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 16:47 BuckRowdy [Update] The rise and fall and the depths of depravity of pedophile Jared Fogle from Subway.

This is an updated and edited version of a post I originally submitted at /redditcrimecommunity. It's been updated with the latest info.
I used to be kind of obsessed with the idea of Jared from Subway. He always seemed like nothing more than wallpaper in a commercial, a guy whose job amounted to holding up a comically giant pair of pants for seconds at a time in commercials. How much do you think they paid that guy to do that?
I used to search to see if I could find out Jared's salary or his net worth because to me it seemed like he had the easiest job in the world. Just stand there and smile, hold up the giant pants, shake a few kids hands at store openings and other corporate promotional events; essentially play the character of Jared from the Subway commercials.
The Midwestern everyman who once weighed over 425 pounds and lost it all by eating at Subway every day. Of course the fine print at the bottom of the screen gave the wider context to his weight loss routine, but there was a much wider, much darker context to Jared's story that would only be revealed years later.
Jared started working for Subway in 2000. By 2005 they had stopped featuring him in commercials and their sales declined by 10%. They quickly reinstated him and he was a fixture ever since.
It is true that Jared did lose the weight, and he did do it in part by eating at Subway.
At this point it would be reasonable to ask how did he get the money as a college student to eat all his meals at Subway?
Because he was running a porn video rental business out of his apartment at the time and had an extensive collection. You've got to remember that this was in an era where media of all types was more difficult to obtain. You didn't have everything at your fingertips back then.
Subway opened up on the ground floor and Jared was lazy so he started eating all his meals there.
The rest of Jared's story is marketing mythology. A friend wrote an article in the student newspaper that got published in Men's Health which caught the eye of Subway's marketing department. Jared started working for Subway in 2000 and up until about 2007 it appeared to be a marketing master stroke. That's when the reports started trickling out. In 2007, TMZ published the story about the porn rental business.
We'd learn later that as early as 2008, Subway had received serious reports about Jared from a franchisee in Florida that Jared had befriended at a few store openings. Cindy Mills, the franchisee said:
"He would just tell me he really liked them young," she says. Fogle and Mills had a sexual relationship, which lead Fogle to disclose disturbing details of his criminal activity in lewd text messages.
Mills says she tried to blow the whistle by phoning ad executive Jeff Moody — then CEO of the Subway Franchisee Advertising Fund Trust (SFAFT) — after Fogle had told her that he had sex both in Thailand and the US with child prostitutes between the ages of 9 and 16 years old. According to Mills, Moody stopped her mid-conversation and said, "Don't worry, he has met someone. She is a teacher and he seems to love her very much, and we think she will help keep him grounded." Mills also claims she spoke with two more SFAFT execs after Moody, but ran into more dead ends.
Jared was up to no good for years, but his world really started to crumble in 2015 with the arrest of Russell Taylor. Taylor was Jared's partner in his non-profit charity and he was just as bad as Jared if not worse.
Russell Taylor, the former director of Fogle's anti-childhood obesity foundation, was arrested in April [of 2015] on three counts of possession of child pornography, three counts of child exploitation, and three counts of voyeurism.
Taylor had gotten in trouble for texting a woman a picture of bestiality and suggesting such between the two of them. It's a sick thing to think about, but that's just what Jared and Russell were up to.
In one of those text messages, according to the affidavit, “Russell Taylor asked her if he and another adult female she identified could come to Jane Doe’s residence and engage in” an act of bestiality. The woman did not agree to that request, but told investigators “you could tell (Taylor) was serious.” She also told investigators that “she received an image file via text from Russell Taylor that depicted (another act of bestiality).”
Jared's house was raided and the rest quickly became history. Subway dropped him. Sharknado 3 dropped him. Jared accused Taylor of fraud and sued him. One quarter of the funds of the charity were unaccounted for, and the only money they ever paid out went to Taylor's $73k salary.
I'm no professional but it's hard not to draw the conclusion that Jared was paying Taylor to produce child porn with a non profit charity.
The world found out about Jared in 2015, but in 2007 and 2008 two women were finding out a lot about Jared.
Jared had met a franchisee in Florida and started a sexual relationship with her. She called the FBI when Jared started texting stuff like this:
In one series of texts sent from April 2008, Fogle tries to convince the franchisee, a woman, to advertise herself for sex on Craigslist. She could make $500 per act he explains and he could watch her have sex with other men. Fogle then goes on to apparently admit to paying for sex with a 16-year-old girl off Craigslist.
The woman franchisee writes: "Is this the same website you found that 16 year old you that you f---ed?" the woman replied, according to an affadavit.
  • "I still can't believe you only paid $100 for her."
  • Fogle reponds: "It was amazing!!!!"
  • "What part of her ad made you think she was selling sex?" the woman asked.
  • Fogle says "U will have to read them to see."
The woman got a lawyer and submitted the texts to Subway who sat on them.
Around the same time, Jared met Rochelle Herman Walrond, a journalist who initially remained anonymous, who came forward and said that she got suspicious about Jared when he called middle school girls hot
According to the woman, Jared would often visit schools in Sarasota County, and allegedly told her numerous times that, 'Middle school girls are hot.'"
She contacted the FBI who asked her to wear a wire. She went on to record Jared over a nearly 5 year period, pleading with the FBI to go ahead and arrest him with them always saying that they didn't have enough evidence and needed more.
So she tried to get Jared to incriminate himself. Over that 4.5 year period they talked about a lot of stuff, like that Jared wanted to fly to Thailand to have sex with children.
"I would fly all three of us clear across the world if we need to,"[Jared] says on the tape. "It would just make things a lot easier — if we're going to try and get some young kids with us. It would be a lot easier probably."
He gave her grooming tips:
"Well, if we get them segregated out ... you know, start talking or whatever ... and we get a little closer, and a little closer and a little closer and before you know it ... it just starts to happen," the man's voice says. "But I think that girl from the broken home could be a possibility, you know."
He daydreamed on the phone:
"Do you want to watch me f— a young girl, too?" the voice of Fogle asks. "Will you f— a young boy?" When Herman-Walrond asks if that would turn Fogle on, he responds with a whispered "yeah."
“I had a little boy. It was amazing,” Fogle reportedly said, in response to a question about being with children. “It just felt so good. I mean, it felt—it felt so good.”
He also, allegedly, asked her repeatedly to let him install hidden cameras in her kids’ rooms.
“I had two young children at the time, and he talked to me about installing hidden cameras in their rooms and asked me if I would choose which child I would like him to watch,” she told Inside Edition.
The audio recordings can be heard at this link. She reported him to Subway in 2009 and nothing happened.
At the same time this was happening, Jared was flying to New York to pay for sex with minors. He asked the minors who he paid for sex if they knew anyone else they could recommend, always stressing younger if possible.
Also, according to the charging documents:
Fogle received "images and videos of nude of partially clothed minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct," which were allegedly recorded by Russell Taylor, the former director of the Jared Foundation.
Taylor secretly filmed some of the minors in his home using hidden cameras that captured them changing clothes and bathing.
Taylor was in possession of 400 videos of child pornography upon his arrest.
In 2011, someone else reported Jared to Subway via their website and yet nothing happened.
All this came raining down on Jared in 2015 when his house was raided and he was arrested and later charged with 14 acts of sex involving minors. He was ultimately sentenced to 15 years in jail and had to pay restitution to his 14 of his many victims totaling $1.4 million. His wife divorced him as quick as she could, Subway cut ties with him and the dominoes started to tumble.
All of a sudden the past reports about Jared came to light and Subway didn't have an explanation. Lawsuits started flying. Jared's now ex wife accused Subway of covering up Jared's pedophilia even from her because their marriage made Jared more grounded and more marketable.
It's now a sick joke, but at the same time of jared's arrest, Subway was trying to rebrand him as a family man.
So why didn't Subway act on the various reports it had gotten about Jared over the years? As this site puts it, it was a story bookended by laziness. Jared's laziness brought him to Subway, and their laziness in vetting stories led to the end of the Jared era with a lot of human misery left in his wake.
Subway has waffled in its response. Rather than taking the path of clear messaging and communication, and aiming to transparent and authentic throughout this terrible situation for the victims and Fogle’s family (as well as the brand), the company hasn’t been clear about where it stands in the midst of this crisis. What message was Subway sending to its employees and franchisees by keeping Fogle around for as long as it did?
As soon as he went to jail he instantly gained 30 pounds
In 2016, he filed an appeal which was denied. The DA's office argued:
[that] Fogle's text messages to a woman, in which Fogle stated he would "pay big" if she could procure 14-year-old children, and that he "craved" underage Asian girls. In these text messages, he also expressed sexual interest in young boys, although there is to date no evidence that he paid for sex with male children.
Later that same year, a brawl broke out and Jared was nearly killed in an attack meant to send a message to all pedophiles.
Other than that, rumor has it that Jared has it pretty easy in jail which is disappointing to hear given all that he's responsible for.
In 2017, Fogle tried to pull the Sovereign Citizen defense and claim that the feds didn't have jurisdiction over him which I imagine gave the feds a good laugh. The motion was dismissed.
In 2018, Jared sued to void his conviction going so far as to name the president (among others) as a defendant. It was unclear how the president was involved and Jared was forced to remove him as a defendant.
He claimed:
he was wrongfully allowed to plead guilty to conspiracy to receive child pornography, claiming that conspiracy doesn’t apply to such an offense.
His suit was dismissed.
That same year a woman pen pal of Jared's sold their racy letters to Radar Online. Seen here and here. She also sold a recorded phone call where she and Jared discuss porn and his sexual preferences.
If he wanted to appeal to a parole board, surely sending hand-drawn pictures of his genitalia that later end up on radar online is not a good strategy.
In March 2020, three of associate Russell Taylor's child pornography convictions were overturned for ineffective counsel. He still faces trial on 9 other charges.
In the five years since Fogle was arrested, Subway has been reeling. In 2015, their co-founder passed away and a new CEO was brought in. Internal reports indicate that customer traffic is down 30%. They've laid off over 400 people from the corporate HQ and this summer they had to revoke a promotion due to a franchisee revolt over the pricing.
Subway was associated so long with Jared it may take time for customers to form a new association. They tried to drop him once, struggled, and re-hired him. Clearly Subway lived in denial while Jared was their spokesman and looked the other way as business boomed. The new marketing strategy involves athletes. Time will only tell if they can recover from one of the worst scandals to ever hit a sandwich chain.
As of September 2020, Russell Taylor was being held at a federal prison in Yazoo City, Mississippi; Fogle was being held at a federal prison in Littleton, Colorado.
submitted by BuckRowdy to TrueCrime [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 04:43 x23896 Trust issues, among others - Am I overreacting?

My fiance (M30) and I (F24) have been together for 6 years and we just moved in together in March. We've had our problems like any relationship but I've been miserable since we moved in together. I think he expects me to be a mom more than a partner; I do all the grocery shopping, pay the bills, take out trash and recycling, do the dishes, walk our dogs and clean up/train/etc with new puppy, meal prep for both of us, vacuum, mop, clean living spaces, do his laundry, I even pack his lunch. All I ask is that he folds his clean clothes and scrubs the bathrooms. We originally split the chores much more evenly, until I actually moved in and he stopped putting any effort in. So that's part of the reason why I'm stressed all the time. Moving on ~ since we started dating, I used to find chewing tobacco tins and spit bottles in his storage bed. He lived with his parents until we moved out and claimed they were his dad's, and his dad did it in his room to hide it from his mom. Both of my parents have had issues with nicotine so that made sense to me. Fast forward ~ I started finding the tins and spit bottles at our apartment about a month ago. Each time I confront him about it, he says something different. And each time he also pokes holes in whatever reason he told me previously. A few days ago he lied about going out after I went to bed (told me he didn't) and he left a receipt on my desk that he bought some. I'm feeling helpless. Each time I've confronted him, because I've noticed how he pokes holes in his previous lies, I've said specifically that I'd be more upset if I found out he was lying, than if he was actually using it. He's came up with very believable lies on the spot each time and gone with those instead. We've had previous issues with things like infidelity, specifically serious flirting with other girls in public and on facebook (i.e posting 'I need 😘' on peoples pictures and worse) and me finding emails of him trying to hookup with people off Craigslist about a year in before I'd have sex with him. He explained those away as well. I'm hurt that he kept lying each time with the chewing tobacco, even though I gave him an out. I also said that we've come so far since the above issues and I've never felt more secure in our relationship/trusting of him, so I'd want him to tell me instead of lying about even bad things like this, so we don't go back to the way we were before. But he STILL actively made the choice to break my trust AGAIN without skipping a beat, made it seem so believable, and went on like normal. Now that I have solid proof with this issue, I'm fully convinced that he's an incredible liar and can come up with anything on the spot to keep me around. On one hand I feel like I'm being ridiculous because I'm questioning our whole relationship over this issue, on the other I feel like he's completely violated my trust to a point that idk if we can salvage it because it's making me call into question anything he's told me before with any issue we've had. I'm also finding myself questioning a lot of his own personal stories about high school/growing up because they're embellished to the point that they seem cringy Hallmark Movie fake. I haven't been happy for a while and have been hoping we'd get better with each step forward, like moving in together, but it seems each step has made things worse. He limited my social activities during college and study abroad so I've missed out on a lot. Aside from personal issues, our sex life is non-existent. He's had a yeast infection diagnosed since April but I noticed symptoms going back a year, so we haven't had penetrative sex for quite a while. His lying had made me question if he's had this due to poor hygiene like he said his doctor said (he works 12 hour shifts outside, he told me his doc said these infections are common for men with these jobs because of the heat) or if he's been cheating and caught something. He's always been a big guy (5'10", 275) which I love, but he's put on almost 125 since we started dating. I've gained weight too but I've made an effort to get healthy this last year and am back to 160 at 5'4". He's just not attractive to me whatsoever anymore and wastes all the healthy food I cook him. We've also just put our wedding off again, moving it to October 2022. I feel like I keep making serious life compromises for this guy and now I feel like he's a compulsive liar, like this isn't going anywhere and my life is on hold as long as I'm with him. I can't tell if I'm overreacting or if maybe this is just a smaller issue that's tipped the iceberg, but I feel ready to walk away. I haven't been in a serious relationship like this before and I know people say you need to put effort in to make love work, so I can't tell if this is just one of those things where I need to put serious work in and choose to stay in order to keep love alive and keep the relationship. Am I overreacting with the conclusions I'm drawing from this lie? Or am I in my head too much due to stress from moving in, COVID, and our sex life, and taking it out on him?
TL; DR: Caught my fiance in a 6 year lie and I'm feeling like I want to leave him. It was so believable that I'm not sure if he's a compulsive liar and lied to cover himself in other issues like infidelity, and I should walk away. Or if I'm just overreacting due to stress with COVID, his large weight gain, and just moving in together. People say you have to choose to be in a relationship and fight for love to make marriage work. I can't tell if this is one of those trials, or if it's just a bright red flag to finally walk away.
submitted by x23896 to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 08:43 Corrupted-Data93 I wish I didn't exist. (Trigger Warning)

I was contacted on short notice about getting evicted from my workplace. I have been living at the hotel for 6 months so I can get away from my boyfriend's emotionally abusive family. I work as a housekeeper and due to being under new management they are forcing people that live for free to move out. I only had 7 days to find a place to go. And getting affordable housing was hard enough because it took a week for them to contact me by email just to fill out an application form to be put on a waiting list. I have called the suicide hotline more times than I can count yet they told me to call a homeless support team. As I call the homeless support team and the Salvation Army they both give me a 311 number for emergency shelter. I fear my belongings will be stolen. I even contacted my friends and they either left me on read or told me to find a broke college student on craigslist who needs help with rent. I have made 2 attempts with this. One tenant sounded like he wanted a "partner" for his girlfriend and kept going off topic bringing up political issues, the other never contacted me. No matter what I do no one helps me and I feel like I'm a burden to everybody. 2020 has taught me that it's "every man for himself" and no one really cares until it's too late. I can't go back to my boyfriend's family because I almost committed suicide due to all the negativity and judgements going on. I've suffered with schizoaffective disorder, anxiety, and depression for decades. Even my mental health support team hasn't helped as much. I called my therapist about the situation to the point where he was exhausted with me. Just hearing the annoyance in his tone confirms that I'm a burden. I have put in effort trying to find a place to go, but they are either not available or the rent is too expensive. I have 0 credit yet I have proof of income and that's the only thing that setting me back. I have slept throughout the whole day because reality is too much to bear. I wish to dream and never wake up, but unfortunately dreams come to an end. A bullet through the skull would be the best thing to ever happen to me. Life never gets better. Either people don't care about the mentally ill or I'm weak. I hope this is the end for me.
submitted by Corrupted-Data93 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 02:05 TheGudu Suggestions and tips on how to better your chances of getting a 3080 at launch. USA edition.

(UPDATED @ 7:30a PST 9/16/2020)
I wanted to make a comprehensive list of suggestions/tips on what one can do to increase the percentages of obtaining a card at launch. I was doing all this for myself, but I wanted to share since I am sure others with experience can help and add to my list.
This is mainly for people in the United States, and this is my own personal list of what I am doing.
Help if you want or get prepared and read up! Good luck!
*****
Benchmarks (Performance and Thermals)
*****
LAUNCH CONFIRMED FOR @ 6am on 9/17/2020 (Nvidia.com)
*****
BEST PLACES TO TRY ONLINE / MOST POTENTIAL STOCK (Any other suggestions?)
*****
BRICK AND MORTAR STORES (Any other suggestions?)
*****
LIST OF ALL CARDS / PERSONAL FAVORITES (Any other suggestions?)
Complete List of Cards
My Personal Favorites
*****
TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS (Any other suggestions?)
submitted by TheGudu to nvidia [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 00:13 ihatemyselfnow17 Im finally realizing

Im finally realizing why my husband does what he does. Why he looked at porn, why he flirted with other women even while we were together, why he can use tinder or craigslist to talk with women.
He has some very deep insecurities.
For 8 years I thought it was me. I thought I was the insecure one. I thought there was something wrong with me because that's all we hear as betrayed partners.
"Ita just porn, what's the big deal?, you're so jealous, it's just entertainment, it's just physical not emotional"
Ita taken me 8 years to realize im healthy in my feelings towards all of this. It's not normal to accept your spouse calculating over other women's bodies. Its not normal to have a fight with your spouse only for them to get onto craigslist and look up the men seeking women section. Its not normal to be able to flirt with coworkers while you're married.
We recently had a discussion about why be does or did these things. And it's because he has deep insecurity.. he admitted he would go to flirting because he wanted to feel wanted.
But no matter how much I wanted him or was kind to him, it wasn't enough.
It's the perfect storm. He discovered porn at a young age. I totally understand the emotions around that. Growing up women never seemed attracted to him and only used him as a listening ear and discarded him once they found someone better.
Porn definitely warped his thinking and when he felt bad about anything he went to porn. I believe porn was the reason he flirted. Seeing the story lines in porn where women are horny all the time probably made him think as a child that that is how all women ate. Porn changed how he viewed and interacted with women.
Porn has created a very strong bond with my husband.
Now I know no matter what I do, I cannot fix him. And sometimes that's scary. It's scary to think that he needs to deal with the insecurities he has before he can truly deal with the porn. And it's scary because I know how hard it is for me to deal with my insecurities especially now that they stem s lot from our 8 year relationship.
What sucks is how his issue has caused trauma in me. I now have to work on insecurities, questioning my own judgement, trusting anyone, letting others into my life especially female friends.
The growth I've made is accepting its not my fault, its nothing I did or didn't do. And that, for today, has helped me with my insecurities.
submitted by ihatemyselfnow17 to loveafterporn [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 20:23 PutridMarionberry The Cost of Having a Baby

During my pregnancy I kept a log of all of everything I spent related to my pregnancy and preparation for the baby. I've included a brief explanation of each expense. If I got a used item or was gifted something, I tried to give a rough estimate of the retail cost of the item new for context. I added some notes about why I bought a specific item. Feel free to ask any questions!
For some added context: I live in a HCOL area, with a high sales tax (Seattle), which drives up the cost of items purchased new. This is my first child, so we didn't have any baby stuff before I got pregnant. Our combined annual household income is roughly $350k. We definitely did not go into this with the intention of trying to prepare for baby as cheaply as ptossible, but we did try to save money/avoid buying new where we could. There is a very active Facebook parenting group near me and I was able to acquire lots of used items for free or at a reduced price through that group. I also have very good health insurance and my job has very generous (paid) maternity leave so saving for leave was not a factor.
All medical bills were paid out of an HSA. We also converted our large walk in closet to a nursery (which involved installing a window, ripping out the shelving, and repainting the room). The project was stopped and restarted several times due to COVID-19 and ended up being finished about 3 weeks before I went into labor. I did not include these expenses as part of the baby expenses. Because our nursery is very small, we were pretty constrained in what kind of furniture would fit which made it generally harder to find used furniture.
(Note: to make the chart easier to read, I deleted my date and category columns. I've included summary totals at the bottom).
EDIT: I realized I missed two medical bills (one for my follow-up blood work, TDAP vaccine--which is given late in pregnancy to provide some protection for the baby--and second Rhogam shot), and the baby's bill for the (routine) medical care she received at the hospital. I have added those in and updated the totals.
Purchase Purchase Price Estimated Cost to Buy New Notes
Expecting Better and Crib Sheet by Emily Oster $29
Prenatals $30 You're supposed to start taking them before you're even pregnant. I started about 2 months before we started trying.
Prenatals $10
Ginger supplements $9 For morning sickness
Prenatals $54 My brand of prenatals were on sale, so I bought a whole bunch.
Ashkenazi Jew Genetic panel - partially covered by insurance $610 Partially covered by insurance--this is my portion. I am of Ashkenazi Jewish descent. Thanks to inbreeding back in Europe, we have a really high incidence of a lot of nasty genetic diseases (like Tay-Sachs). I opted for the genetic screening panel to see if I was a carrier for anything for my own sanity.
Belly oil $22 Supposed to help with stretch marks
Pregnancy body pillow $45
Skin care items $47 I normally use a tazarotene gel as my only skincare product but stopped because it is not recommended during pregnancy. I began breaking out like CRAZY during the first trimester (seriously, I felt like I was 15 again) so I invested in a bunch of pregnancy-safe skincare products.
Baby class $300 8 week labor and newborn care class. Ended up being virtual due to COVID and not worth it.
ErgoBaby carrier and newborn insert $0 $170 Gifted by my parents for the holidays (~$170 new)
Rhogam Injection - partially covered by insurance $27 You can have a different blood type than your baby (depending on the father's blood type) which is no big deal for Rh positive people. For Rh negative people, if the baby is Rh positive, you can create antibodies that could hurt the baby/future babies. The Rhogam shot addresses this. I am O- and had some light bleeding late in my first trimester, so I got the Rhogam shot earlier than usual in my pregnancy since you need to get it as soon as there is any chance of intermingling blood. I'll need to get a second one later in my pregnancy
Maternity Clothes $0 $150 I got a bag of maternity clothes for free from my local FB parenting group--a bunch of tops, a few pairs of maternity sweatpants, one pair of shorts, and a pair of pants. It's mostly casual so I can't wear it to work, but I'll need casual clothes for the weekends!
Maternity Clothes $330 Motherhood Maternity near me was going out of business, so I bought my entire work maternity wardrobe, a pair of jeans, and some extra nursing clothes (everything was 40-80% off). I am an attorney so I need well-fitting professional clothes, especially since I have an arbitration scheduled for May (when I will be 7 months pregnant). Of course, due to COVID, I ended up working from home and mostly wearing my usband's sweatshirts so some of this barely got worn. But I did end doing my arbitration (via Zoom) so at least my maternity suit got some wear.
Used snoo + extra sleep sacks and extra sheets $750 $1,400 We got a used Snoo and lots of accessories from someone in my local FB group. Plan is to resell it when we're done having kids.
Maternity bras $48 My boobs have grown (and my band size is increasing, as my rib cage expands) so maternity/nursing bras were a must.
Diaper Bag $69 We got a Patagoina ultralight tote bag to use as a diaper bag on the recommendation of people in my local FB parenting group. Definitely unnecessary, but the bag was on sale at REI and I couldn't resist.
BOB jogging stroller $0 $500 Hand me down from SIL
BOB stroller chicco carseat adapter $0 $65 Hand me down from SIL. Only downside is that we're locked into getting a Chicco infant carseat (which is not a huge deal)
Glider $0 $600 Hand me down from SIL. Literally the most comfortable chair I've ever sat in
Baby Bjorn travel crib $0 $250 Hand me down from SIL
Baby bjorn bouncer $110 $200 Purchased used from my local parent group ($200 retail). We live in a small house and the bouncer folds up, so this seemed like a good fit. The used ones on Craigslist and FB market are all in the $120-$150 range, so the price seems in line with what we'd want to pay.
The First Years Newborn to Toddler Tub $22
Dog Trainer $135 We decided to hire a dog trainer to work with us in preparing our dogs for the baby. I don't know if we would have bothered, except that one of our pups tends to be very anxious and has been skittish around children in the past. He's overall the sweetest dog and calms down once he gets used to a new stimulus, so we're not overly concerned, but we do want to make sure we're properly introducing a baby and desensitizing him to children. This cost covered a 2+ hour initial session, plus a bunch of training resources.
Maternity underwear 5 pack $22 It's turns out all of my underwear have seams that are cutting painfully into my hips as I expand.
Maternity underwear 5 pack $22 More maternity underwear since it turns out I need more than 5 pairs of underwear that fit
Blood draw $12 Bill for my alpha fetoprotein blood draw and test
Skip Hop Pronto Changing Station $21 Recommended by a friend--basically a travel-size changing mat with some pockets that we can toss in to the diaper bag.
Genetic testing (Cell-Free Fetal DNA) (not covered by insutance) $33 My insurance didn't cover it, but we decided to do the Cell-Free Fetal DNA Test (screens for Down's Syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities, with a high degree of confidence). We called around to try and get the best out-of-pocket price since our insurer would have charged us $2k. Our quoted price was $500, but for some reason the bill came in at $836. Sigh. I have zero desire to deal with the provider, but my spouse spent a few hours arguing about the bill and it got flagged for review. We eventually got a new bill for $33. Unclear if/when we will be getting another bill.*
Running belt $33 With the COVID-19 outbreak, running outside has become a real necessity for my mental health since I am no longer leaving the house (husband is doing all the shopping) except that running also feels like death. I ordered a maternity running belt to see if that helping with the pelvic pain I've been having while running
Swaddles, sleeping gowns, onesies, burpclothes $103 A local store is running a $5 and under sale as they're being crushed during the COVID-19 outbreak. I'm generally avoiding buying baby clothes since I know those are easy to acquire used, but I want to support a local business. This cost is for 20 separate items + tax -- swaddles, burp clothes, a few onesies, and a bunch of sleep gowns.
Anatomy ultrasound (my portion) $360 This is my cost for my 20-week "anatomy ultrasound" where they look in detail at the baby and baby's development. Good news is that everything looks normal so far.
Maternity leggings $61 I already bought two pairs of maternity leggings to wear under dresses but neither is great for athletics. My pre-maternity leggings don't fit anymore (RIP), so I buy two pairs of athletic maternity leggings (1 long pair, 1 capris) to work out in.
Chicco Fit2 Car Seat + extra base $218 $429 The BOB stroller adapter we have is compatible with two basic Chicco car seats--the KeyFit and Fit2. The Fit2 is supposed to last longer, through age 2, so it costs more. Since we have two cars the kid will be in regularly, we'll need two bases plus the car seat. I got a free car seat base for the Chicco Fit2 from someone in the local parents group I joined, which doesn't expire until 2023 (retail cost of an extra base is $129). Getting the free extra base makes us decide to get the Fit2 model instead of the KeyFit. There's a sale online for the Fit2 car seat--it's normally $299 retail, but is only $197 after discounts ($217.99 with tax). I was nervous anyway about buying a used carseat.
My brest friend nursing pillow & car seat cover $0 $40 Gifted by someone in local FB group.
Cloth diaper covers (5x), socks, baby anti-scratch mittens, white noise machine, car seat mirrors (2x), pacifiers, snappi cloth diaper fasteners, noise frida, booties $234 I have a running list of baby "essentials" that we'll need early on and are less likely to find used. I am getting a little antsy (very antsy) with just feeling generally unprepared, since our nursery is still a closet and the world is falling apart. I decide to go ahead and buy the things that I think we'll need that we won't be able to get used, especially with delays in shipping times due to COVID-19. Note on diapering: we decided to use a cloth diaper service for our baby until the kiddo goes to daycare, but we still need to purchase waterproof diaper covers and snappis (modern cloth diapering involves an inner absorbent layer and an outer waterproof cover; the service we're using provides and lauders the inner layer).
Nursing covers, bottles, bottle brush & drying rack, nursing pads, nipple cream $79 Feeding and breastfeeding supplies. (In hindsight, I should have waited on this stuff. Right after I bought it, there were lots of posts of people in my FB group giving away bottles, drying racks, etc.)
Nail clipper, diaper rash cream, baby soap, travel wet bag for cloth diapers, drool bibs, and baby on board car decals $57 A few of the straggler miscellaneous items on my list that I didn't expect to be able to get used (turns out I didn't need to buy the drool bibs, we ended up getting lots of bibs in the baby clothes we were later gifted).
Sun hat $14
K'tan wrap $10 $50 Got a used K'tan wrap from the FB group (normally $50). I've been told we may want a softer wrap than the Ergo for baby-carrying at home.
Breast pump $50 $200 Someone in my local FB group is selling a minimally used cordless Spectra S1 breast pump, which is the model I want and isn't covered by my insurance (insurance will cover 1 pump, but I don't get to pick it and I know I'll need a second pump anyway for work....if I ever get to go back to working in an office). The pump retails for $200.
Changing pad for dresser $30 $65 We decided to go with a changing pad/dresser combo rather than a changing table for space saving reasons. Someone in my local FB group is selling her changing pad topper (with extra waterproof covers and holder to screw into the dresser) for $30.
Activity mat, baby swing, large bag of 3-9 month clothes, bumbo seat, Fisher Price Sit-me-up chair $0 $250 Haul from my local parenting FB group--all stuff that people were giving away free. Everything is in pretty good condition. The clothes are super gendered, which probably is not what I'd chose to buy, but as far as I'm concerned, anything goes for free stuff. I've been trying not to buy clothes generally, since I know my mother won't be able to resist getting lots of cute little baby outfits and you can usually get used baby clothes for free/cheap.
Baby clothes $0 $100 Another bag of baby clothes from the FB group. Mostly in the 3-6 month range.
Cloth diaper cover $15 Sigh. My mom complained that none of the diaper covers I bought (all of which have super cute patterns) would "go" with the outfits she was getting the baby. I think she is mostly joking, but I give in and buy an extra white diaper cover as well. For the days when we're being fancy, naturally.
Prenatals $14
Liquid Iron $54 Apparently I'm severely anemic! This is not super uncommon for pregnancy, but my numbers are BAD which can lead to some pregnancy complications. My doctor recommends that I either do IV iron infusions (ugh) or immediately start to massively increase my iron intake with diet changes and supplements. She recommends a liquid iron supplement because apparently it's easier to absorb and thus more likely to actually help. The supplement is EXPENSIVE though and also totally disgusting.
Baby clothes $0 $200 I pick up a HUGE box of 3-12 month clothes from someone in my local FB parenting group to round out baby's wardrobe for year 1 of life. (We'll probably still need some outwear, but for regular clothes we're pretty set now!).
Baby clothes $0 $150 An (unexpected) haul of baby clothes. My husband's coworker gave him two large bags of newborn baby clothes. At this point, I am pretty sure we have more clothes than we possibly need, though at least it's not all newborn stuff. Once we have a dresser in the nursery, I am going to wash everything, inventory what we have, and pass on what we don't need to a friend who is having twin girls.
Audio-only baby monitor $34 We have a Nest cam to repurpose as a baby monitor, but want an audio-only one for traveling and internet outages.
Dresser $50 $300 A friend is selling some old furniture, including her childhood dresser. It's smaller than what I had initially wanted for the nursery and needs to be repainted, but definitely a lot cheaper than buying new (the dressers I've been looking at online given our space constraints are $300 at the CHEAPEST and that's for something that's isn't solid wood that we'd have to assemble). We're going to use this as a changing table and will get some some storage shelves or something to make up for the smaller dresser. I end up painting the dresser in mid-June, while 35 weeks pregnant (after we finished converting our closet to the nursery) which was a challenge since it involved a lot of bending down and crouching. But I was able to repurpose some extra paint we have from painting the trim in nursery so we don't end up spending any extra money on paint.
Waterproof mattress cover for the snoo mattress, extra sleep sack (small), extra mattress, four extra sheets $10 $80 Someone in my local FB group is getting rid of a bunch of Snoo accessories--sleep sack, sheets, extra mattress, waterproof mattress cover. I'm mostly interested in the sleep sack ($30 retail) and mattress cover ($20), but she wants to clear out everything and offers me the whole bundle for $10. We now have like 7 sheets for the snoo which seems excessive, but then again I do hear that babies are great at getting things dirty.
Bottles & Fisher Price on the go baby dome $0 $80 More stuff from the FB group--this is a small portable bassinet/play space (folds up flat) with a canopy to protect baby from sun/bugs/curious doggos. It seems like it will be helpful for traveling (can be used as a sleep space), hanging out outside, and keeping baby separated from the dogs in our house. The same person also gave me some extra bottles.
Sign up fee + 4 weeks diaper service $155 I sign up for the baby diaper service we will be using (the service picks up, washes, and drops off cloth diapers). There's a one time start up fee ($30) and a 4 week minimum. After that, we'll be billed in 4 week increments. We can cancel at any time after the first 4 weeks. We'll get a pre-birth delivery in a few weeks, then let them know when the baby is born and they'll start weekly drop offs and pickups. They also provide a diaper pail and liner as part of the service which is great!
Hooded baby towel with bear ears $19 I am blaming hormones for this. I fully intended to avoid buying baby stuff just because it's "cute"...but someone sends me the link, we haven't bought baby towels, and it's SO CUTE. Definitely an unnecessary purchase
Postpartum supplies--witch hazel pads, peri bottle, numbing spray $21 Postpartum supplies
Diapers & wipes $46 Even though we're cloth diapering, I want to have some newborn disposable diapers on hand since I've been told that that cloth diapers often don't fit newborns particularly well. We'll need the wipes regardless.
Burp clothes $20 8-pack of burp clothes
Waterproof blanket $26 Purchased at the recommendation of my friend who has a newborn--she recommended for protecting furniture and whatnot if we're breastfeeding/hanging out on the couch.
Postpartum supplies $0 $50 I get a large bag of postpartum supplies from someone in my FB group (pretty much everything I bought, plus a lot of pads, mesh underwear, etc.) I won't use all of this (most likely) and will pass the extra on to my friends who are due later than I am.
Belly lotion $9 Ran out of belly oil so I buy some lotion this time.
Rug $0 $200 My mom (this is her first grandchild) is way more into interior decorating than I am. She gets us a washable rug for our nursery. It is super cute and goes with our nursery theme. We ended up with very aqua walls--we had to choose a paint color online w/o getting a swatch because of the pandemic. I like the color but it is definitely a little more vibrant than I thought. We're leaning into it though and going full underwater theme.
Third Trimester Rhogam shot, TDAP vaccine, bloodwork $235 Medical bill for the gestational diabetes test, TDAP vaccine (you get it late in pregnancy, and it provides some immunity to the baby), and second Rhogam shot. I failed the GD screen and had to do a second diagnostic test (which I passed).
Armoire $0 $400 Another "I'm so excited for a grandchild!" gift from my mother. She buys us a small Pottery Barn armoire for our nursery (with some extra shelves) so we'll have a place to hang some of the baby's clothes.
Newborn diaper covers and Moby wrap $25 $150 Regular diaper covers for cloth diapers don't always fit newborns well. I had been planning on waiting to see if our baby was on the bigger side (and thus could fit into the covers we already bought) instead of buying newborn diaper covers. But someone is selling 15 newborn diaper covers on my FB group for $20 and I snatch those up. I also get a Moby wrap (another kind of baby carrier) for $5--we don't really need another carrier, but the K'tan is probably too small for my husband (those wraps size to the adult human, not the baby) and he'll be able to use this one at home if we can figure out how to tie it.
Bookshelf $0 $40 Curb find on a walk around my neighborhood! A small white bookshelf that will fit our nursery perfectly!
Pail for dirty wipes and garbage bags $38 Our diaper service provides us a pail for cloth diapers, but we also need a small pail for the dirty wipes
More blood work $16
Haakaa Pump $44 A friend strongly recommended the haakaa, which is a manual breast pump. I initially didn't see the point of a manual pump, but she explained that you can use the pump on whatever boob the baby isn't nursing on and prevent spillage. Makes sense to me. The cost is technically for two pumps with covers, since they are sold individually. (ETA--I don't know why I got two, you really only need one. I end up giving one away to a friend who is also pregnant)
Baby clothes hangers $15
Teething toy $7 Teething toy. We definitely don't need this now, but it was very cute
Diaper covers $10 $75 Someone is getting rid of some Thirsties diaper covers (same brand we already bought)--6 for $10. We already have 6 (non-newborn) covers, but I feel like having extras would be a good idea. They're $12.50 each normally (pre-tax).
Costs associated with labor and delivery $2,598 This is my portion of my L&D costs. I think the total bill was something like $25k but I am incredibly fortunate to have good insurance.
Baby clothes, stepstool, baby towels, toys, bottles, bottle warmer, boppy baby lounger, high chair, crib mattress, bath supplies, books, high chair. $0 $650 At my mother's insistence, I end up doing a baby registry. I had not intended to do a registry at all (or have a baby shower) since we are financially comfortable. But because of COVID, a lot of family members that would have offered in-person help won't be able to do that and keep asking her what we need. Although I don't feel like we "need" anything, she (accurately) points out that people will start sending unsolicited gifts and we're likely to get a lot of baby clothes, which we definitely do not need. I ended up registering for a lot of smaller toys, some feeding supplies, some "would be nice but not necessary" items, and some items we were planning on buying when the baby was older. We end up getting a high chair, baby towels, assorted toys, some bath supplies, a few sleep sacks for when she outgrows the Snoo, a crib mattress (but no crib lol), a bottle warmer, bottles, and a Boppy baby lounger from our registry as gifts. We also end up getting a few more sets of baby clothes, a BEAUTIFUL handknit sweater, wooden step stool with her name, a teething necklace, and some baby books as gifts.
Baby's medical bill for care in hospital $434.18 Routine care, no complications.
Hospital parking $30 Two days parking.
Partner's hospital means $50.25 Hospital food for my spouse for the 36 hours we were in the hospital (5 meals). Due to COVID, he wasn't allowed to leave and reenter my room, so he had to stay with me the whole time in the postpartum room and couldn't get food from home or anything other than the hospital room service. My meals are part of the hospital stay coverage.
Grand Total: $8,003.15
Total Cost to Buy Everything New: $13,584.16
"Savings" (Gifts & Buying Used): $5,581.01
Totals by Category:
Education $328.73
Pregnancy $776.51
Medical $4,380.58
Baby Supplies $1,180.58
Breastfeeding $173.28
Birth $101.16
Nursery $927.31
Other $135
Totals by Time Period:
Preconception $58.73
First Trimester $1,097.31
Second Trimester $2,375.22
Third Trimester $1,1338.28
Birth $3,133.61
Reflections:
We "saved" a lot by getting some of the big ticket items (stroller, car seat base, travel crib, glider) free from family or people in our local parenting group. We were also lucky to be able to get a lot of smaller items (like a bouncer, swing, activity mat, nursing pillow) free or used. My inclination that we should not buy baby clothes was 100% correct--we got a ton of clothes for free (used from my local group and as gifts from family), with the only downside being that most of the stuff we got is very gendered and not what we'd necessarily have chosen given a choice. (Overall, I think I bought a grand total of 3 onesies and 10 sleep gowns for baby--we got everything else as gifts/for free). We decided that while we'd try and purchase gender neutral stuff, anything goes as far as free stuff because it is clearly cheaper and better for the environment to reuse something rather than buying new stuff on principle. We were also pretty lucky we are to live in a corner of Seattle with a thriving parenting group! We got a lot of stuff from total strangers free or at greatly reduced prices. We also ended up getting a lot of stuff towards the end of my pregnancy from a registry, which was not something I had initially intended, and because it was late in my pregnancy, almost everything that we got from the registry was stuff that I considered non-essential (or things I expected to acquire after the baby was born and probably would have gotten used).
We definitely splurged for some things that we probably don't really need (like the Snoo). I also ended up spending more money that I should have on work maternity clothes. I ended up wearing them very minimally due to COVID-19. I can't really blame myself for that--if I had continued to go into the office during my pregnancy, I definitely would have used them. Although having now managed 4 months or so of pregnancy in sweatpants and my husband's t-shirts, I probably could have purchased fewer outfits. I did end up doing an arbitraiton via Zoom while 7 months pregnant, so at least my maternity suit got some use! I'm planning on hanging onto everything since we are (at the moment at least) planning on having a second kid.
We are planning on reselling at least the Snoo when we're done having kids. We'll see how much of this stuff we end up using or reselling.
submitted by PutridMarionberry to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 18:15 paco55621 [Listing] Beautiful 1BR in Prime Park Slope $2050

[Listing] Beautiful 1BR in Prime Park Slope $2050
This is a nice apartment in an awesome neighborhood. My partner and I are using this opportunity to work remotely to explore some other places. We would not be leaving this place if not for that. It's a 2nd floor walk-up. Hit me up with any other questions. Craigslist Posting
https://preview.redd.it/2ovk0lsrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65aaec3a301eb09bf32c5cd0e65cae60ae3a7462
https://preview.redd.it/hyjth3srhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ce73367deb5cc4c54c6befdb8b3fbfd080d67ff
https://preview.redd.it/3i5o27srhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4424927e22d31a2c12d8ec84a5db26e0566e6159
https://preview.redd.it/ivvw0fsrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dde075000b20796e321be79e412b6ce7dd29510c
https://preview.redd.it/jla3ybsrhcm51.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3123e645d8ebb498e44513da19f5c13087b75c1f
https://preview.redd.it/87036wsrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc54f8e8abcb0f8e4851dc26a2db03a84038bee5
https://preview.redd.it/8d3ewnsrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd63b9d73c9310770d499ae9e2823204e9a5c8cb
https://preview.redd.it/4yfn1irrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b86c23778d8e48ba27109c9f536cde0ba2002fe3
https://preview.redd.it/70ubs0srhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fc4cf6354ed8d6b669b8c43c60b830b81d84189
https://preview.redd.it/946vgtrrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e13cbb0f7b7cde80304fd23a2a5b7190c99d0c9
https://preview.redd.it/qu9uhtrrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb4a835322166b39eec6c77a896ca0c573cf5bc3
https://preview.redd.it/fh574zrrhcm51.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=989856db169a2d51fe990b8b6a79224f2bca4fb0
https://preview.redd.it/rpl4vhrrhcm51.png?width=1536&format=png&auto=webp&s=d4fc2950c87d74295249ba2fe2e66e3e55611694
Apartment Features:
  • 1 King+ sized bedroom w/ closet
  • Large Living Area/Kitchen
  • Hardwood Floors throughout
  • Newly renovated building w/ video intercom
  • Responsive Landlord and Super
  • West facing windows for gorgeous afternoon light and sunsets
This beautiful 1BR in a quiet building is in the center of Park Slope. Just off of 5th Ave, you are steps from multiple grocery stores (including Whole Foods), incredible bars, cafes, restaurants, the Farmer’s Market, and all the unique stores Park Slope has to offer. A clean, well run laundromat is basically across the street. The Barclays Center and Prospect Park are an easy walk. When you need to get into the city, Times Square or Bryant Park are 35-40 minutes away via the R, F, or G using the 4th Ave, 9th St. Station 3 blocks away.
submitted by paco55621 to NYCapartments [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 03:32 AutoModerator General Questions Thread, September 10, 2020

A thread for new collectors to ask basic questions of the community.
Frequently Asked Questions below!
A longer version of the subreddit rules is here.
For questions specifically concerning bootlegs or vendor legitimacy, please ask in the Bootleg Megathread.
NSFW & Spoiler Guidelines
  • For Self Posts: include a bolded NSFW note next to links in that post.
  • For Links to sites/images: If the figure is NSFW, or the website has any NSFW content (including ads) be sure to tag your post NSFW and use the appropriate link flair.
Bootlegs
Any collection posts containing bootlegs, comments advocating buying bootlegs, or links to sites selling bootlegs, recasts, or unlicensed merchandise will be removed.
People often ask about the legitimacy and/or safety of a number of websites which sell large resin statues. The more commonly-asked of those deal primarily in resins from studios which do not have a license from the Japanese IP holders to produce merchandise. Therefore links to those sites are not permitted here. Another sign is if MyFigureCollection doesn't list the either the statue, its manufacturer, or the shop it's being sold on.
MyFigureCollection
My Figure Collection is like MyAnimeList... but for figures! Their database includes thousands of items which been produced during the last couple of decades, along with reviews of shops and other helpful articles. One can also list their own collection and post gallery photos.
Shops
Retailers:
AmiAmi HobbySearch Mandarake (sells rare figures) Good Smile Company Online Shop (often has exclusives) Good Smile Company US shop Crunchyroll Shop Hobby Link Japan (aka HLJ) Solaris Japan (MFC partner) Big in Japan (also has proxy service) Tokyo Otaku Mode FigureHaven Archonia (EU retailer) Jungle
List of retailers on MFC
/AnimeFigures' List of Retailers
Community Guide to Shopping in Japan
Blogs/News:
Nekomagic (News/Previews) NyaaFigurines (Reviews/Releases) Kahotan's Blog (News/Reviews) Figma Blog (JP)

Buying & Shipping

1. What’s the best place to buy my anime figures from?
That’s going to depend a lot on what works for you, but most people around here buy them from Amiami, Big in Japan, Hobby Search, HobbyLink Japan, or Tokyo Otaku Mode. If none of those work for you for whatever reason, there’s a list of reputable retailers in the sidebar that you can check out at any time. Be extra careful when ordering figures from websites like Amazon or ebay, as there are a lot of bootlegs on those sites. Don’t be afraid to ask in our Bootleg Megathread if you’re unsure.
2. What differences are there between the shipping options I get from most Japanese shops?
Below is a rundown of the main shipping choices you’ll get at most retailers. Keep in mind that if an order is large enough you will be forced to use one of the more expensive options, as SAL shipments have lower size and weight restrictions.
  • Unregistered SAL: Sometimes referred to as uSAL, is usually the cheapest method. It does not come with any tracking or insurance. Usually takes up 2-4 weeks for delivery.
  • Registered SAL: Sometimes referred to as rSAL, is insured for the declared value up to 6,000 yen. It comes with a tracking number and usually takes 2-4 weeks for delivery.
  • EMS: This method of shipping is much faster than either SAL options, usually arriving within a week of shipment. EMS shipments are insured for the declared value up to 2,000,000 yen.
  • Airmail
  • E-packet
  • Surface: Shops don't offer this very often. It's an actual cargo ship and slow as a result.
  • DHL: Becoming more available as an alternative to EMS on AmiAmi and other sites. Can be less expensive than EMS and of comparable speed, but may be more reliant on the specific geographical area being shipped to. Offers their own tracking.
3. I placed two+ orders for figures at different times. Will my items be shipped together, or will I have to pay shipping twice?
Most shops will ask you to pay shipping on a per-order basis, but here are some that will allow combined shipping:
  • Amiami: You can combine orders here, as long as the orders ship in the same month. It doesn’t matter if the item is new or preowned. Any preorders that are set for that month can also be combined with other orders for that month. However, be aware that if the preorder gets delayed, Amiami will remove that item from that month’s shipment and place it on a new order. To combine orders on Amiami, use the “Combine Orders” feature under “My Account”.
  • Hobby Search: Hobby Search will let you combine orders that release in the same month, but you cannot combine in stock items with preorders. If you want to combine multiple preorders, or multiple in stock items, you can do so using the “Order Recombination” feature on your account page.
  • HobbyLink Japan: At HLJ, you have the option to send paid orders to their “Private Warehouse”, where you can store them for up to 2 months. When you’re ready to ship the items, you simply select which items to ship and HLJ will combine them into one shipment for you. To use this, just select the “Private Warehouse” option as shipping when you order.
  • GSC Web Shop: Here you’ll pay a flat 2,000 yen fee per order. It doesn’t matter how many items you put in your order, or how many different months the items release in. They will charge you 2,000 yen and ship all items as they release. The exception to this rule is their Wonder Festival exclusive items. Those can only be placed in the same order as other Wonder Festival items.
If you’re unsure about whether or not a shop we haven’t listed will combine your orders, please refer to their individual FAQ’s.
4. When will I get charged for my preorder?
Most Japanese shops charge you once the item is in stock and ready for shipment. When that happens, they will send you an email asking for payment. Some shops (mostly overseas ones), will allow you to pay for the item up front though, if you’d like. A few with that option are:
  • Big in Japan (Japanese store)
  • Tokyo Otaku Mode
  • Anime Island
  • Crunchyroll
Keep in mind that overseas stores will likely get the figure a few months after Japanese ones, so pay attention to the release date stated on the website you are buying from so as to avoid that confusion.
5. Should I expect to pay customs fees when importing figures?
That depends on where you live. Here’s a quick rundown:
  • Australia: 10% GST is now assessed up front.
  • Canada: Minimum declared value for charges is around CAD$20 for regular shipments, and CAD$60 for gifts (gifting something only seems to lower the declared value by about CAD$40, not deplete it completely). When using Amiami, try their Small Air Packet option. It comes with tracking, gets there in about the same time as EMS, and is better at avoiding customs.
  • Europe: Using EMS raises your chance of getting charged for customs. SAL can still avoid customs in some countries, but generally gets checked in the UK now if the items are above the threshold. Amiami offers a shipping service called “Small Air Packet” that is really good for avoiding customs when you are only shipping one or two figures. Small Air Packet usually takes about the same amount of time as EMS, and still comes with tracking.The minimum declared value for customs charges in the Europe is pretty low- around £15 (£36 for gifts) / €20.
  • Mexico: Minimum declared value for customs fees is USD$300 for shipments by post, and USD$50 for shipments by courier.
  • United States: A shipment has to have a declared value of USD$2,000 before customs starts hitting you with fees, so you most likely won’t have to worry about them at all.
6. The figure I want is an exclusive, how do I go about ordering one outside of Japan?
You have three options for this:
A. Big in Japan is known to stock exclusive figures and ship to other countries. Usually the price is higher because they build in their proxy fees, but it’s easier than worrying about using a forwarder or proxy service. If you live in the US, Crunchyroll, Right Stuf, and Tokyo Otaku Mode also get exclusives sometimes, but out of the states the shipping can get expensive.
B. Forwarding Services: A forwarder is someone who you ship an exclusive item to so that they can forward the package on to you, usually for a flat fee + shipping. When using a forwarder you still make the purchase yourself, and enter their address into the shipping field. When the box arrives at the forwarder they will then stick your address onto the package and send it on its way.
Some popular forwarders are:
Be sure to read each sites instructions on forwarding carefully!
C. Proxy Services: With a proxy, you tell them what the item you’re looking for is and they will purchase it in your stead. This is handy for when a company doesn’t accept foreign credit cards, or you’re having trouble navigating a Japanese website.
Some popular proxies are:
Again, be sure you thoroughly read through each sites proxy instructions.
7. I see a bunch of really cheap figures that ship from China on ebay. Are those okay to buy?
Generally, no. They’re most likely bootlegs. If you want a second opinion on that, feel free to ask in the Bootleg Megathread that’s always stickied at the top of the sub.
8. What’s a bootleg, and how can I avoid buying them?
A bootleg is a counterfeit figure often made using rejected molds of the official product. They are usually priced significantly lower than the genuine article, and in order to make their profit, bootleggers use lower quality materials and have less attention to detail- resulting in a substandard figure.
The Bootleg Megathread that I mentioned in question 7 is a great tool to avoid buying any bootlegs. It has a few tips and tricks to avoiding them to begin with, and a few more on how to spot them if you’re worried you might already own one.
9. Does anyone know when figure X is going to be released? How do I know if it was delayed?
My Figure Collection (sometimes referred to as MFC) does an excellent job of staying on top of information like release dates and delays. If you’re curious about an upcoming figures release date, check there first. This information can be found directly under the “Releases” section on a figure’s entry. If you only see a month and a year in that section, it means the release date has not yet been announced by the manufacturer, and there is still a chance the figure could be delayed.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.
10. The figure I want is long sold out at normal retailers! What’s the best place to pick it up in the aftermarket?
A list of reputable retailers can be found under the “Shops” section of the /AnimeFigures sidebar. They all sell legitimate products, and many of them also sell figures second hand. However, the most frequently suggested second hand sites are Mandarake and Amiami- who has a preowned section that they update every night save Sundays and Japanese holidays around 1PM JST and again around 6PM JST.
AmiAmi grades their pre-owned items on a letter scale. The general consensus from buyers is that their ratings are conservative, so unless the item and/or packaging is specifically indicated as having significant flaws, pre-owned items from them are usually in at least as good a condition as their rating suggests.
Note: When you search Mandarake, you’ll get the best results by using the Japanese characters for whatever you are searching. If you don’t know them, you can find them on MFC by clicking on any of the “details” in that figure’s listing.
11. Amiami has a figure I’m interested in labeled as “For sale in Japan only”. Does this mean I can’t order it without a proxy or forwarder?
No, you can still order it. Amiami’s English site has that warning on many items, and it’s mostly meant to inform you that this product was made for a Japanese market, and as such, will have Japanese speaking/writing in it- so don’t expect any instructions to be in English. If Amiami doesn’t want foreigners buying a certain product, they won’t even list it on their English site.

Displaying Your Figures

12. What display cases do you recommend?
If you live near an Ikea try out one of these:
*If you decided on a Detolf, you might find that there is a lot of wasted space. Here are a few tutorials on raising the shelves or and adding extra ones in.
If you don’t live near an Ikea, Amazon has a few display options, though they are more expensive. Also keep an eye on your local Craigslist (or your country’s equivalent) and stores near you that are closing up.
13. What lighting do you guys recommend?
Ikea’s Dioder LED strips are often suggested. They come in white or muti-colored.
Most hardware stores carry something similar though, if you don’t live by an Ikea. Just make sure that the lights don’t get too hot!
14. What are those clear plastic boxes that I see under everyone’s figures in their collection posts, and where can I get them?
Those are called risers. Most of us use standard acrylic risers like these. Some other, easy to find things that have been suggested are:
Check your local hobby store for the first 2 options, or your local hardware store if you want to make your own.
Another common suggestion is to visit The Container Store if you have one near you. They have a lot of things to choose from that can suit a variety of needs. Be sure to check out their standard acrylic risers, their Amac boxes, and the various display cases they sell (baseball cases, mini car cases. hockey puck cases, etc).
15. Should I keep my figures sealed?
That is, of course, up to you really, but here are a few things to keep in mind when debating this question:
  • Keeping it sealed can actually damage your figure. PVC figures usually have something called plasticizer in them, and that plasticizer needs to be able to breath. If a PVC figure isn’t exposed to oxygen, after a period of time the plasticizer starts to break down and form a sticky substance on the surface of the figure. Simply opening your figures and taking them out of the box prevents this from happening. If you happen to find plasticizer goo on one of your figures, Kahotan has a handy guide for dealing with it.
  • Unlike some other figure markets, keeping an anime figure sealed won’t raise its value by a whole lot. In fact, because of the plasticizer problem mentioned above, your figure could actually be in better condition if you open it versus keeping it sealed.

Finding the Right Figure(s) for You

16. There are so many figure companies! Who makes good figures?!
Obviously this is a very subjective question, but as a general starting point, here are a few well renowned figure companies:
  • Alter
  • Max Factory
  • Good Smile Company
  • Kotobukiya (usually hit or miss for people. Use your best judgement based off of the prototype)
  • Aquamarine
  • Flare
  • Stronger
17. I really love “series X / character X”- how can I check if any figures were ever made for it?
My Figure Collection can be your best friend here. Simply do a search on the name of the series or character using the search bar located at the top right of the screen, and all associated figures pop up!
Alternatively, if you’re looking at a figure’s MFC entry, most of the text under the “Details” section can be clicked on and used to run a search.
18. How can I commission a custom figure?
None of the major figure companies (Alter, Kotobukiya, Good Smile Company, etc.) will take a commission for a single figure. This thread has a few websites in it that you can check out, or you can look into garage kits. Some kit painters would be willing to resculpt, frankenstein together, or otherwise modify kits for the right price.

Keeping Up with New Announcements

19. How can I keep up with figure news (announcements, updates, etc.)?
Most people use a MFC combined with any or all of the following news sites:
To use MFC for this I’ll quote question #9.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.
Most companies have one or more Twitter accounts. Some examples: Good Smile Company sales, Good Smile's USA branch, Max Factory, AmiAmi Hobby News.
20. Everyone’s excited about something called Wonfes….. what the heck is that?!
WonFes (short for Wonder Festival) is a biannual figure expo where many figure producers (both large and small) show off new sculpts and updates to figures already under way. Most companies save their most exciting announcements for WonFes, so we all look forward to the expo whenever it rolls around! Winter Wonder Festival is usually held in February, while Summer Wonder Festival is usually in July. The event has also spread to Shanghai, in the late spring.
21. One or two (or 15) figures were announced at WonFes that I’m really excited about! How can I keep track of their progress once the event is over?
MFC is always really quick about getting new WonFes announcements (or any others throughout the year, for that matter) listed in their database, so we suggest using that. To find a figure from the event you can search any number of things, including the name of the character or the name of the show. You can also use the tag search to search “WonderFestival 20xx_[season]” to see all items announced at that event.
submitted by AutoModerator to AnimeFigures [link] [comments]


2020.09.09 19:47 vincethesweatshirt Just decided I want to buy a used car!

I’m a 22 year old college student looking to buy my first car (probably from Facebook marketplace or craigslist).
I’m looking for something under ~$2500, and my first priority is something reliable that won’t need to be taken to the mechanic too often (I know little to nothing about car repairs/maintenance). My dad loaned me his 2000 Honda Accord that I drove in high school, which I loved driving, but he sold it a few years ago and I haven’t had a car since.
My second priority is safety. I’ve had my license since I was 16 but I’m still a bit freaked out by freeways and complicated city streets (planning on doing lots of practice with my partner so I can get comfortable behind the wheel again). I live in a big city with good public transportation so I honestly won’t be needing to use the car very often, maybe 2-3 times a week and every other month for a 2-3 hour drive to visit my family.
submitted by vincethesweatshirt to whatcarshouldIbuy [link] [comments]


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